InBetween
by ShadowKat79
Summary: This takes place during the Episode "Wednesday's Child" we all hear of Olivia thinking she was pregnant but then told she took a test but it was negative nothing more was ever written or spoken about it. What if that test was wrong? We all know false negatives are possible, heck I had one in the AM with my daughter and it was positive 6 hours later.
1. Chapter 1

InBetween

5/6/2015

Law and Order: SVU

Cassidy and Benson

First I only came into Law and Order: SVU about six months ago. It became and escape for me a way to get away from a place which I can only describe as a scene from Dante's Inferno: Purgatory. I was unhappy and with each passing day, I grew deeper and deeper into this darkness, writing became an outlet for me my ATLAS and so became my sanity finally I saw a light at the end of my tunnel.

This takes place during the Episode "Wednesday's Child" we all hear of Olivia thinking she was pregnant but then told she took a test but it was negative nothing more was ever written or spoken about it. What if that test was wrong? We all know false negatives are possible, heck I had one in the AM with my daughter and it was positive 12 hours later.

Chapter 1

Benson looked over at the clock on her nightstand for the 100th time in the last 20 minutes. Cassidy was gone once again on an UC assignment. Since revealing their relationship to the squad months ago, by accident, she and Cassidy spend a great deal of time on their off hours in their home rather than out. Most of the time spent was in their bedroom. She naturally didn't care she has found her soul mate. It just took about 13 years to do so. In her first few years in the SVU she had spent one drunken night with Cassidy he wanted more at the time, she did not. Now it seems that she was right with him on wanting more than just a one night stand and for once all was great for her. Letting out a deep sigh she hit the snooze button on her alarm got up, showered, dressed and made a pot of coffee. She was ready to start her day, no matter what may come her way she was ready. Little did she know what was waiting for her?

Olivia threw her keys down on the desk and tossed her infamous leather jacket on the back of her seat. "Hey everyone…long weekend," Almost simultaneously each of the squad replied with a simple Yeah, not so much the case load but review of our cases. "Seems Cragen likes to clean house when things are slow", Fin replied with his normal dry humor.

"Hey Liv, Cassidy on UC still," Fin as usual, breaking the awkward silence, "Yeah, hopefully only a few more days more", with that, Cragen quickly exited his office, the squad new they had a case and from the look on Cragen's face it was a good one.

"We have a case guys, Cragen announced as his team assembles in front of him it rightly fashion, outside his office. "What's the 411 Captain," Amaro asks, "15 year old female found her way to Mercy ER tonight complaining of rape, she told the ER doctor on call she had been raped by her Brother-In-Law, I guess it has been going on for nearly three years, today she finally got up enough courage to come forward. Tonight's attack was pretty bad, bruising inside her thighs and the doctor has stated there is scarring from penetration, a lot of penetration.

The triage nurse put her in her won room, apparently the victim claims that her attacker works in the neonatal intensive care unit at Riverside General. Apparently that is why she chose to go to Mercy General. Fin, Munch, I need both of you to dig up any dirt of the "good doctor" Amaro, Benson I need you to go to Mercy interview the staff, patients even the crew see if anyone can help you out. Benson I need you to speak to the victim, you have a way with kids, her name is Elizabeth." With a quick nod all go on their way leaving Cragen alone in the squad room.

Olive was brought to the young girl room. As she arrived Elizabeth was sitting on the exam bed. Olivia could tell she was scared, as she closed the door behind her Elizabeth jumped, startled by the sound. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you, are your Elizabeth?" Yes and please call me Lizzy, everyone else does," for a moment Olivia thought about the statement she was just given. "Yes, but what would you like to be called?" Elizabeth was surprised at the question, "I like to be called Beth, Lizzy sounds like something you would call a baby." "Then I will call you Beth, you can call me Olivia" Olivia responded with a soft smile.

"I understand that you came to Mercy because someone hurt you? Could you tell me who he was?" Beth shifted uneasily in the bed, Olivia noticed her change in demeanor, "Don't worry, for now you are safe with me I won't let anything happen to you." Beth nodded as Olivia carefully treaded her next set of questions delicately. Beth may have been just 15 but the abuse she suffered caused her to become a much younger vision of that 15 year old. Olivia could tell she suffered for years with that abuse but curiously wonder why it took her three years to report the abuse.

"Beth I need to ask you a few questions, now I won't lie to you they will be difficult. Just answer them as truthfully as you can, that way we can press charges appropriately and you will get you day in court." "I understand Detective… I mean Olivia, I just want everything to just be over.

TBC…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Okay Beth now you ready?" Beth nodded softly "It started about three year ago. "I'm the youngest of eight children, my oldest sister is 25 years old, when she went away to college she had early admittance and on scholarship. I went to visit her during homecoming weekend EVERY year. She would take me around campus showing me where she took her classes and where she lived, each year the campus had what they call an Autumn Leaf Festival. It's the thing to do during homecoming. Bands come to play, a cultural night, and a parade on the last day of the festival.

Three years ago she met her prince charming, so she called him, he was Pre-Med and she was Pre-Law, she was so happy and wanted me to meet him, she looked so happy but they were like night and day. I mean Pre-Med and Pre-Law how different can that be? She would talk about him all the time, how smart he was and how he was so perfect for her. I don't know to me he was very secretive. He never talked about his family, where he came from, what his favorite sports are I mean he's a guy they ALWAYS talk about sports." Olivia laughed lightly; she knew the feeling when not talking about work Brian was constantly talking about sports. "All he really talked about was having his own family, his own home, and how much he said he loved my sister."

"That's not a bad thing, he actually sounds a lot like someone I know," speaking of Brian naturally. "I know right I thought my sister was so lucky she found a man that cared more about her and her feelings than sports. He won my vote after that but that was far from what he turned out to be. Don't get me wrong I know he loves my sister but he also had something for other young girls, me for instance. One time about 3 years ago my sister was so sick with the flu, I had come to visit on Friday after I got done with school. My parents picked me up at school and we drove to her college, it was only about an hour away. But because we had planned my visit weeks ago she didn't want to send me home with my parents. After much pleading I was able to convince them to let me stay. After my parents left her boyfriend came over, with chicken soup and some flu medicine. She asked if it was okay and I go with him rather than her so she could recover, a part of me was hesitant but I don't know something about his smile and his love for my sister, I agreed. We had a great time. On the way back to her dorm while I was in his car he started to put his hand on my leg and stroke it. I didn't think anything of it, just thought he was a sweet guy.

I was so wrong, not much happed the rest of the weekend. I think he may have been scared of when didn't really say bye. All I kept asking was how stupid could I be, how could I let him touch me like that. I mean we were taught about this kind of stuff my whole life, I mean I drew up with 7 brothers and sister, SEX was talked about. I knew it was wrong but I didn't say anything. The touching lasted for years then the kissing and fondling of my breasts began last year." "When did the sex begin?" Olivia asked with concern. "About six months ago, he always used protection, I don't know if it was because he didn't want me to get pregnant or he was protecting himself. I guess I may never know, after he did it he always told me if I said a word to anyone, they'd never believe me."

"When was the last time he assaulted you?" Olivia asked. "Tonight at dinner my sister announced that she was 22 weeks pregnant with a little girl and they were getting married this summer after graduation. The baby is due in July, I had to let say something because I am afraid he will do the same thing he did to me to his daughter. I couldn't let that happen even if it would risk my life. He followed me upstairs I went to my room, he went to the bathroom after he was finished he came into my room and he raped me again."

"Where was the rest of your family?" Olivia asked "Why didn't they suspect anything?" "They were so happy about the baby they were too busy to notice I was upstairs and he followed me, and even if they did see him come upstairs what would they think but that he was going upstairs to use the bathroom. He told me to keep my mouth shut and not to say or make a sound, or he would make me pay for it. He was so aggressive with me, pulling my arms up around my head, forcing my legs open.

He didn't even bother to take off his pants he just unzipped his pants and pulled it out and put a condom on, than he ripped off my shorts and panties and tossed them to the floor. He force himself inside me and kept moving in and out of me I muffled my cries and when he was done he pulled the condom off put it back in and zipped up his pants. Before he left he told me not to say a word walked into the bathroom and flushed the condom down. Told me to get a shower and waited while I did just as he said. When it was over he went down the stairs and acted like nothing ever happened it lasted only 10 minutes but it seemed like forever. I spent the rest of the night in my room with the door locked. Once it was safe and everyone was gone I snuck out of the house and took a cab here."

"Did you tell your sister what happened?" Olivia asked, "No my sister is still really sick…," "Morning Sickness?" Olivia asked, "Yes but more like all day sickness, I thought she would be over this by now, perhaps that is why he decided he'd rape me again since she was too sick to give him what he wanted. The doctor gives her some medicine to help with the nausea and vomiting, it makes her sleepy she wouldn't hear anything even if she was alone. Olivia do you think it is my fault, because I never said anything about what he was doing to me?" "Absolutely not; no man has a right to do this to anyone young or old it is not right." Olivia tried to control the anger she was feeling, to protect Beth, but it was the most difficult thing she ever had to do.

"Okay Beth, I'm going to get the nurse so she can do the rape kit, do you understand what that is?" "Yes, I know what that is but I took a shower, you won't find anything, he will get away with it again." "True but some microscopic evidence may not be able to be washed away, if you scratched him or anything we will get him." A few moments later a nurse dressed in spring scrubs enters the room with a rape kit in tow. "Are you ready? Olivia asked Beth, "Will you stay with me?" "Sure, as long as you need me." Beth smiled, today Beth needed her Olivia thought, he own issues were placed on the back burner temporarily. Some things are more important, Olivia knew this.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Olivia finished assisting Beth into her gown, a gown commonly found OB/GYN offices and takes the cover from the bottom of the bed and replaces it with a blanket made of paper, like her gown. "Olivia I've never done this before I'm scared," "I know you are that's why I'm here with you. I remember what it was like my first visit to my doctor's office, I was 16.""Was it because you were raped like me?" "No it wasn't, I had a boyfriend we were getting really serious I wanted to be protected if we decided to go all the way." "Did you mother know?" "No, my mother really wasn't interested in me; I went to a free clinic." "Oh, I'm sorry" "Please don't be sorry, my mother and I just never were close so we really didn't talk much either." "Maybe you were willing to go, but I wasn't I mean I'm just a kid there are so many things I want to do before I have sex. It is the last thing on my mind right now."

Noticing that Beth was a bit uncomfortable while given the rape kit Olivia decided to tell her a story of her to maybe relax her a bit and distract her from exam. "You know when I was 16 years old I fell in love with a student in my mother's English Literature class she taught at Hudson University. Oh he was so beautiful; in my 16 year old mind I was going to marry that boy someday. Not to my surprise he proposed to me, I accepted it right away, when we went to tell my mother she could have cared less but she made sure that I would never marry that boy again. I was so angry with her I kicked her and ran out the door. Nothing more was ever thought about or spoken of again. I cried for days, it was as if my whole life was over. I never forgave her for telling me I couldn't marry him."

"You were ready to get married when you were just 16 years old? I don't think my mom would have noticed or cared there were 8 of us she got married when she was 18 years old. So even if I did find someone to love me I could have ran off and married him and my mom wouldn't have cared what I did. Her last child was out the door she could finally do what she wanted. What happened to that boy you were going to marry?" "Honestly, after I ran out that night I never saw him again. Last I heard he was some big stock broker on Wall Street, he married and now has 3 kids."

"Are you married Olivia?" Beth asked, "No, I suppose I never did get over my first love when I was 16. I joined the police academy right after I graduated from college, been with them for some time know, joined Special Victim Unit about 16 years ago. My life is my work now, though maybe someday I'll find that special someone, maybe I have found him already." "So you don't have any kids either?" "No, I don't have any kids" "Don't you want them? I mean you are so good with me I bet you are good with all kids huh?" "I've been told that, and someday yes, I'd love to have a baby, maybe adopt one or have one on my own. I'm not sure right now my work is my baby."

The nurse finished the exam and collected the items, "Alright, all done you can get dressed now." "Thank you Laura", the nurse nods and finds her way out the door, "Here are some scrubs, not exactly the most fashionable clothes but we had to keep yours for evidence. Do you have a ride home?" "Um, no I'm going to take a cab home, my parents probably didn't even notice I was gone, they are probably still sleeping, I can use my key to get in and go to school before they knew I was gone." "I'll give you a ride home, make sure you get home. You need to talk to your parents Beth. I can stay while you talk to them."

"No really, Olivia, I can talk to them without you." Olivia nods and Beth takes the scrubs from her and walks into the bathroom. A few moments later Beth comes out and takes her things off the table nearby. Both exit the room and walk to the hospital garage. It was a silent drive from Mercy to Beth's home. As Olivia stops the car, she asks, "Are you sure you don't want someone to be there while you tell your parents?" "No really I'll be okay, thanks for the ride." Olivia nods and before Beth closes the door behind her she says "Thanks Olivia, for everything, and don't wait too long there is someone out there who can make you happy and you will be a good mother, any kid will be lucky to have to you're a mother. Bye" Olivia nods trying to keep back the tears that were falling. For a girl who is only 15 years old she had wisdom far beyond her young life. Someday she will do something with her life. Wiping the tears from her eyes she takes the car out of park and leaves. She had a lot to think about and Beth helped her just as much as she helped Beth.

TBC…


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"No!"

Everybody within earshot looked up, glancing at one another questioningly. Fin went over to the desk from where the shout had come, and peered inside. "Liv, is anything wrong?" Olivia whirled around, trying to keep the objects on her desk out of Fin's sight. "No, Fin, thank you." Fin looked at her doubtfully.

Olivia managed a smile. "Really Fin, everything's just fine. I was merely surprised by the result of one of the cases I've been working on." "If you say so, Liv" Fin retreated slowly. "If you need any help..."

"I'll let you know," Olivia finished for him. As soon as the detective had returned to his work, Olivia closed the office door and went back to the items on her desk. She stared at the test kit, unwilling to accept its results. She considered running the test again, but since she had already run it twice, and this particular test had so far proven 100% infallible, there really was no point in trying a third time.

Olivia closed her eyes and sighed deeply, leaning on the desk for support. Looks like I'm in trouble. Damn, why did this have to happen? She shook her head in despair. But when she opened her eyes, the test result assaulted her again. There could be no doubt about it. She was pregnant.

Moving slowly, she proceeded to discard the different parts of the test kit. The part that showed the result went directly into her drawer and locked it, since she did not want anybody to see it by accident. The safest way was therefore to destroy it right away. By the same reasoning she had refrained from making another call to her doctor instead performed a home test. Maybe she was acting paranoid, but in this delicate case she definitely did not need any witnesses. Not yet anyway.

Her cleaning up completed, Olivia went back to her desk, ignoring the curious glances of her staff through the window. She flopped down in the chair behind her desk, trying to sort out her options. You should think that by the 21st century, they would have invented contraceptives that are 100% safe. She still was not sure how it could have happened. Well, of course she knew how, only the why remained dubious. Medicine had come a long way over the past couple of centuries, and family planning was one of the areas where the achievements seemed to fulfill everybody's hopes. Still, there obviously was an exception to every rule.

The sound of Cragen from the door halted her thoughts. Olivia hesitated. Should she tell him? If she told him now, he would most certainly forbid her to do any field work, and an argument was the last thing she wanted right now. That victim needed help. Anyway, she needed more time to think about her situation by herself, so there really was no point in troubling him now. She sighed. She would be in enough trouble when he found out.

Finally, she acknowledged the Captain, already moving towards the squad room to gather her supplies. "We have a case, Liv. The team has assembled in the squad room we are just waiting for you."

"Alright let's go."

Within seconds, Olivia forgot all about her personal problems as her team prepared for the task at hand.

The team worked for ten hours straight until the last of the data had been attended to. Luckily, there had been only a few very upset suspects, so that the immediate information had passed. Nonetheless, there had been a lot of people involved, and Olivia's team performed greatly at the layout of the crime scene.

When Olivia returned to the 1-6 she wanted nothing more than to sleep, but instead she went to her desk to check on the cases on her desk. Finally satisfied that everything was taken care of as well as possible, she found that she was too tired to go all the way to her apartment; the crib, much closer and reasonably comfortable, looked a lot more inviting.

Settling heavily on the bunk closest to the steps, she decided that she might as well go ahead and write a preliminary report about the case. She had hardly finished the first paragraph, catching herself every now and then from falling asleep, when Brian walked in, his expression hardening when he saw the condition she was in.

"Liv, you should be in bed," he began without preamble. She was too tired to pick a fight with him. "You're right, but that would require that I go to my apartment, and I think I'm too exhausted to do that." His look instantly softened, and he went around her desk to offer her his arm. "I will be only too glad to escort you home. You should get the rest you deserve." "Isn't that what I always tell you?" She smiled up at him wearily, but obediently turned off the computer screen. "I thought I'd return the favor."

He supported her as they slowly made their way to her apartment. Once inside, Olivia headed directly for her bed, not even bothering to take off her boots, or badge, Brian removed her sidearm and placed it in a lock box in the kitchen cabinet. Brian followed and helped her undress, then covered her with the blanket. She was almost asleep when she remembered something.

Trying to force her eyes open, she reached for his hand. "Brian, I've got something to tell you. I…" He silenced her with a gentle kiss and pushed her back into the pillows. "Not now. First you get some sleep, and then we'll talk about it tomorrow, all right?" Her eyes closed again. "All right," he could hear her murmur, before she finally drifted off to sleep.

When she woke up the next morning, the first thing Olivia remembered was the test she had taken the day before. The second thing she remembered was her conversation with Brian right before falling asleep. It had almost slipped out then, although she had decided earlier to make up her own mind first, before talking to him.

She tried to calculate how far along she could be. Six weeks, maybe eight? She honestly didn't know. She had been so busy lately; but it had been a good kind of busy. The kind that made you forget about insignificant details of human biology because you were blissfully enjoying each day in the secure knowledge of being loved and loving in return. After years of longing, she had finally found happiness again. And now fate had thrown a spanner in the works.

I've got to speak with Amanda, she thought, maybe she can give me some idea as to what I should do. But first she had to think of her work, the people involved with the recent caseload would need a lot of her attention. After calling Brian to cancel their breakfast because of too much work – and because she did not want to face him yet – Olivia left for the station, skipping breakfast altogether. The queasy feeling she got at the mere thought of food already made her wonder if this pregnancy was such a good idea.

Brian entered the precinct and looked around. One of the detectives, guessing his intentions, pointed in the direction of her office. Olivia was examining one of her files and did not notice his entrance. He silently moved behind her and slid his arms around her waist. She gasped and turned to face him. "Brian! Whatever made you sneak up on me like that?" "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." He kissed her softly. "I missed you. I haven't seen you all day, so I thought I'd come down and ask you to have dinner with me tonight."

She stiffened slightly, but tried to conceal it by returning his kisses. I've got to tell him. But what'll he say? Damn, I really need to talk to Amanda. She forced herself to relax and leaned her head against his shoulder, savoring his warm embrace. He stroked her back, trying to smooth away the tension he felt in her muscles. "Is anything wrong?"

He offered her the perfect opening to tell him about her worries, but Olivia could not bring herself to do it. But she could not lie to him, either. "There is something I have to think about, but I can't tell you about it. Not yet." She smiled up at him and caressed his face, trying to dispel his concern. "I will tell you tonight. That is, if the invitation for dinner still stands?"

"Of course it does." His frown deepened despite his words. "Olivia, what's wrong?" "Please, Brian" She silenced him with a gentle kiss and hugged him affectionately. "I'll tell you all about it at dinner, I promise. But now I have to get back to my work; these files are quite time-consuming." "All right." Reluctantly, he let go of her, still worried. "What time would you like to eat?"

"About 7:00? I haven't had much breakfast this morning, so I'd like to eat a bit earlier than usual, if that's okay with you." She turned back to him and almost had to laugh at his expression. "Brian, please stop looking at me like that. You make me feel extremely guilty for causing it." She hugged him again, and he pulled her closer to him. "I'm okay, really. I just need a little time. Between yesterday and today, something has happened that shook me up a bit, but it's nothing life-threatening. Please don't worry about it."

"All right" He smiled back, then reluctantly released her and finally turned to leave. "I'll expect you at 7:00 then. Don't be late." The twinkle in his eyes reassured her that he would not worry about her anymore until the evening at least not too much.

"I'll be there. And, Brian..." He was almost at the door but turned back at her call. Olivia smiled at him, love shining in her eyes. "Thanks for visiting." "Any time Liv." The door closed behind him. Olivia sighed and turned back to her experiments. "Why can't this be easier?"

Amanda was surprised when Olivia called her to make talk; usually Olivia was not this formal when she wanted some advice. On the other hand, her behavior showed the young detective that she needed to talk about something urgent. Olivia arrived five minutes early, another indication for the seriousness of the situation. Once inside Amanda's apartment, however, she did not know how to begin. Facing Amanda across the low table, Olivia found herself wishing that Amanda could just read her mind, so that she would not have to speak at all.

At last she gathered herself and began. "Amanda, I have a problem." Amanda smiled. "I thought as much, otherwise you wouldn't be here. So, what is it?" Olivia restlessly shifted in her chair. "Actually, I don't understand how this could happen. According to my experience, the chance is so low, it never should have happened. But it did. And now I don't know what to do. How shall I tell him? How –"

"Liv," Amanda interrupted her, leaning forward and gently placing a hand on her friend's arm. "Why don't you just tell me what the problem is?" "All right." Olivia took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant." "Liv, that's wonderful!" Amanda clasped her hands in delight. "Wonderful? What's so wonderful about that?" Amanda leaned back in surprise. "So you're not happy about it?"

"Happy? Amanda, this is probably the worst thing that could have happened. Just think about what Brian will say when I tell him. You know how uncomfortable he is around children, and the younger they are, the worse it gets." Olivia jumped up and started pacing about the room, nervously rubbing her hands. "Imagine him with a baby!"

"What you're saying is you don't know how to tell the Cassidy because you're afraid of how he might react to the prospect of having a child?" Olivia whirled to face her. "Exactly! He'll probably not want to hear about it at all. And what'll I do if he doesn't want it?" "But how do you know he won't want it if you haven't talked to him?"

"Amanda, I just told you! He is uncomfortable around children. I wouldn't say that he doesn't like them, but he does want to keep a certain distance from them." "He might be different with a child of his own." "I don't think I want to base my decision on that vague possibility." Amanda rose and went over to take her friend's hands. Looking deep into her eyes, she asked, "Liv, do you want this child?"

Taken aback, Olivia stared at her. She had been so concerned about Brian's reaction to her pregnancy that she had not stopped to think about her own feelings at all. Slowly sinking back into the chair, she shook her head. "More than anything in the world."

"Then be happy [pause] you're going to me a mother. After all, it is your child as well, and your opinion about what should happen to it counts just as much as his." Olivia sighed. "You're right, of course. I'll think about it, and then I'll tell Brian tonight – if I manage to make up my mind until then."

"I'm sure you will." Amanda walked her friend to the door, reassuringly pressing her arm. "And I know you'll make the right decision – together."

When her shift ended, Olivia left the precinct with the intention of returning to her apartment, but instead found herself heading towards the precinct nursery. She stood at the window for half an hour, watching the toddlers crawl around, playing with bricks and stuffed animals, and occasionally chasing each other round the low tables. It would be nice to have one like that. A wicked smile stole itself upon her lips. Actually, I'd really like to see Brian with a baby!

The doctor did not notice Nick coming up behind her, and when he spoke she jumped in surprise. "I am sorry Liv; I didn't mean to startle you." "Oh, that's all right, Nick, I was just lost in my thoughts. What did you say?" "I just said that children are great. They never cease to amaze me with their abilities. Don't you think?" "They surely are." Olivia turned to Nick and regarded him curiously. "Nick, when you had Zara, did you ever think how hard it would be?" Not for a second…"

"Zara is great." Nick kept studying the toddlers. "However, my knowledge of children when I found out about Zara was far from the norm. Even today I constantly am learning about her and what she can do it a great feeling." "No, Nick, what I meant is, do you think it is good and right for me to have children?"

Suddenly Nick thought he knew what Olivia was talking about. "No doubt you are referring to Brian's reserve in this matter?" Reluctantly, Olivia nodded.

"In my opinion, having a family increases the quality of life for those concerned, because they don't have to suffer long separations from their spouses and children. As a result, this also accounts for greater work efficiency. I am certain that by now Brian has come to appreciate this factor of a family life someday." He looked at her again. "His change of opinion is also emphasized by the fact that he chose to pursue a relationship with you, thereby rejecting the solitary life that was common only a century ago."

Olivia blushed slightly, but Nick did not seem to notice. "And if I may say so, Liv, it also appears to me that Brian is dealing quite well with the families and especially the children you've helped in a case.

"Really?" He never told me. "Well, Nick, this conversation has been most interesting, but I think I should be going. Thank you very much for sharing your opinions with me. I think you actually helped me solve a personal problem." "It was a pleasure talking to you, Liv." Nick inclined his head slightly, and then went back to watching the toddlers while Olivia retreated towards the exit.

A little more time to think, Olivia thought. Although by now I'm actually pretty sure what I'm going to tell Brian. The question is will he like it?

At dinner she told Brian of the baby the evening was filled with what if's and why not's, later after dinner while in bed together a stray lock of hair had fallen over Olivia's cheek, Brian gently brushed it aside. "Why didn't you tell me?" he whispered, softly stroking her hand. "Did you think I would be upset? Well, I probably would have been at first, but when thinking about it seriously..." He kissed the palm of her hand and rested it against his cheek, smiling warmly. "I could think of nothing more wonderful than having a kid with you." He kissed her hand again, than carefully replaced it on the blanket and bend over to kiss her forehead. "I'll be back tomorrow morning, and when you wake up we can talk about everything. The most important thing now is that you get sleep."

After a last glance at the sleeping woman he left and retired to his apartment, but his thoughts remained with her the whole night.

TBC…


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

She couldn't sleep. Oh, there is nothing troubling Olivia tonight. In fact, she had never been better. Tonight, as she lies gazing up at the ceiling from the in their room, she cannot recall a time she had ever been happier. Her mind is reeling with excitement. The past few days had been difficult, exhilarating and, thanks to the events of the past evening, thoroughly satisfying she helped a young girl with her first rape kit and Brian was finally home.

Brian has spent the night with her arms secured around his soulmate, trying to process the events that had led to their union that evening, and reflecting on his profound fortune. As Olivia slumbered peacefully against him, Brian had soaked her up like a sponge, reveling in the scent of her hair, the sound of her breathing, the sensation of her leg intertwined with his. Hours had passed, but he had not noticed one of them in the time he had been contemplating how much had changed in a matter of days.

Unable to suppress the urge, Brian feathers a kiss to her temple, closing his eyes. Stirring, Olivia lets out a muted exhale, stretching lightly. Pressing his lips to her cheek, Brian caresses her shoulder, feeling guilty for having roused her and hoping she will settle back into sleep. Somewhat startled, it takes Olivia a moment to recall the events of the night and recognize the arm around her hip and the lips on her cheek. Opening her eyes, Olivia smiles drowsily, pressing her back against Brian's chest.

"I'm sorry," whispers Brian against her ear, massaging her shoulder. "I didn't mean to wake you." Grinning, Olivia covers his hand with hers over her abdomen, tilting her head around to look at him. "My, you're an early riser! What's got you up so early?" Grinning impishly, Brian cups her cheek, capturing her lips in a long kiss. Breaking off Olivia smirks, bringing her hand up to his chest. "Oh, I see now…"

Smiling broadly, Brian won't deny his infatuation as Olivia turns in his arm, pressing her pelvis to his and shifting him onto his back. "Good morning, Brian," purrs Olivia against his lips, straddling his hips. Letting out a low growl, Brian tangles a hand in her hair, kissing her firmly. Bracing her hand on his chest, Olivia blazes a trail of open-mouthed kisses along his neck.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"We should have done this 13 years ago," replies Brian, toying with her hair. Nipping at his collarbone, Olivia chuckles lightly, "I know. It's nice to be roused like this in the morning." Snaking an arm around her back, Brian exhales audibly. "We've wasted so much time." Ceasing her downward momentum, Olivia glances up at him seriously, her hand on his ribs. "Brian…" Pensive, Brian struggles to force a smile. "Sorry."

Feathering a kiss to his chest, Olivia then covers his chest with her own, placing her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," murmurs Brian, pressing his lips to her forehead. "I've just been thinking about how amazing this is, and how lucky I am." Swallowing a lump in her throat, Olivia grips his shoulder. "We have to be happy that we're here…focus on moving forward."

"I'm just…a little upset with me that I didn't say anything sooner, that I didn't speak up." Closing her eyes, she pecks his brow. Heart beating profusely against his chest, Brian's cheeks flush warmly "Liv, I kind of knew…knew that you had feelings." "Why wouldn't you say anything? It's been 13 years here, Brian?" asks Olivia gently, caressing his back.

Biting his lip, Brian exhales deeply, concentrating on the feel of her on him beneath her fingers. "I was afraid…I suppose." "What were you afraid of?" Olivia presses tentatively, her fingertips grazing the bumps along his biceps. "Falling," whispers Olivia breathily into his neck, her eye lashes brushing his face. "Falling?" confirms Brian in bemusement, shifting his hand to her arm. "I'm afraid of heights," confesses Olivia vulnerably, a tiny smile pressed against his neck. "I was afraid of falling in love with you. That's a mighty high jump to take. "

Beaming, Brian runs his hand along her arm, pecking her temple. "I didn't know you were afraid of heights, why didn't you say anything?" "I'm a cop there are just some things you don't share." "You've no reason to be frightened. We'll leap together. And, no matter the height, I'll always catch your fall." Sighing in relief and contentment, Olivia closes her eyes, savoring the warmth of his skin beneath hers. "I'm ready to jump."

Lacing their fingers, Brian kisses her softly. "Take my hand. This is going to be one fantastic fall." Returning the kiss, Olivia relaxes into his arms. "I love you." "Je t'aime, cherie," Brian murmurs against her lips, rotating to shift on top of her." You've been practicing your French" Olivia replies in surprise. "Well I figured if you know 4 languages fluently I at least should learn the ones you know. It'll make for a great European Vacation someday." Exhaling deeply, Olivia encircles an arm around his neck, finally ready to dive off of the cliff.

Immersed in a lengthy and detailed case, Olivia's eyes never waver from the file in her hands as Brian perches next to her on the sofa, setting a tray on the coffee table in front of them. "Wrap it up, Liv," Brian mock orders, retrieving a mug off of the tray on the table. "Tea?" Peering over the file, Olivia half-smiles, her brow peaked. "Breakfast?" Handing her the mug of tea, Brian removes the file from her hand. "It's our day off, remember?"

Bobbing her head, Olivia accepts the mug. "Pancakes?" Smiling as she discards the file on the end table, Brian nods. "Given that it's our day off, I mixed it up a little. Chocolate Chip pancakes." Lifting her brow, Olivia smiles in amusement. "My, aren't we indulgent?" Suggestively wagging her brow, Olivia slides closer to him and runs her hand along his inner thigh. "You weren't complaining an hour ago when I was indulging you?" "I'm….insatiable." Laughing lightly, Brian leans over to set his mug on the table before and takes a pancake from the tray. He breaks a piece off of the end and dips his fork into the soft layer in the center.

"I'll say." Intrigued, Olivia watches as he inches closer, bringing his finger to her parted lips. "Hungry?" Brian asks in a low rumble, bringing his hand over to cup the side of her face. "Famished," answers Olivia breathily, reaching for his shoulder, "I'm pregnant remember, I have to enjoy it before the morning sickness starts to strike, because you know the result of that." Brian laughs lightly he knows of it however he has never witnessed it for himself. It is going to be an interesting nine months.

Taking the small piece of the pancake that he had broken off, Brian brings it to her mouth. Parting her lips, Olivia takes the bite of pastry, drawing Brian closer in their embrace. "I always liked our breakfasts, but now I'm thinking we could take them to a whole new level," Olivia teases, dropping her hand down to massage his bicep.

Smiling knowingly, Brian presses his lips to her mouth, tasting the cocoa on her lips. "I never told you just how much I valued those times together. I always anticipated our breakfasts or dinners together." "So did I," replies Olivia warmly, curling herself into his lap.

Brian breaks off another piece of the pancake and brings it to her mouth, finding it thoroughly satisfying to share this prolonged moment of intimacy, unhurried, entirely relaxed. "What I didn't tell you was that I always wanted more." Olivia savors the bite as Brian eats the last portion of the pancake, studying her intently. "I did, too."

Swallowing his bite, Brian encircles his arms around her back, drawing her flush against his chest. "I longed for a night where our dinner didn't have to end after dessert. A time when I didn't have to take you back to your apartment and say goodnight. I wanted to share my cabernet sauvignon with you, share my bed with you. I wanted to share my entire life with you."

Pressing her cheek to his, Olivia squeezes his bicep, her eyes drifting close. "I didn't want to ring your apartment door at seven to have breakfast. I wanted to wake up in your arms every morning." Feathering soft kisses to her cheek, Brian sighs, caressing her back. "I love you." Tears welling in her eyes, Olivia moves her hand to his chest, overcome with emotion. "I'm so…unbelievably happy. I'm just so…so sorry I let my fears get in the way of us for so long."

Shifting back to regard her, Brian lifts his hand up to cup her cheek, grazing his thumb along the tear track cascading down her cheek. "No. I should have told you how I felt."

Grimacing, Olivia rests her forehead against his, splaying her hands across his chest. She had known on some level that he had harbored feelings for her, and she had been afraid to pursue a relationship with him. Now that they had jumped off the cliff together, holding hands on the way down, the fall had not been so scary after all. In fact, falling together had been thrilling, exciting her in ways she had never imagined. The best part of the entire experience had been landing, because landing together after an exhilarating ride is immensely gratifying.

"Hey," Brian whispers, tilting her chin up. "Enough of this, we have to be happy with what we have now." "You're right," smiles Olivia, taking a steadying breath. "Alright," nods Brian firmly. He captures her lips in a tender kiss, his hands dropping to her hips. "Now, I've always liked the idea of having breakfast in bed together. Care to…indulge me?" Grinning, Olivia chuckles lowly, slipping her arms around his neck. Pecking his lips, Olivia aligns their hips. "Sure. I'm ravenous." Brian grips her hips, trailing open-mouthed kisses along her neck. Letting a contented sigh escape her lips, Olivia relaxes. Landing is inarguably the best part.

TBC…


	7. Chapter 7

I wanted to apologize about the cross confusion I had when posting this story. I was writing one from another series as well as this one and uploading at the same time. Apparently my computer can't function as fast as my finger and mind can. I do hope that I have corrected the errors that seemed to keep popping up on this one.

Chapter 7

Olivia sat back against the cool porcelain of the toilet. She's stunned beyond belief. Yes, was expecting this; knowing this. But, she thought it would take longer. Brian had only just found out about the baby week ago. Everything's happening so fast and Olivia can barely keep up. She still can't believe it. It's unusual that a woman her age would get pregnant so quickly. It's easy for anyone to get pregnant in their twenties! But not in their forties!

This is what we'd been hoping for, right? Yes. This is what we both want. Then, why am I so nervous? I have no reason to be. We both want a family. We both want this to happen. Yes. Olivia, you have nothing to be concerned about. In terms of modern science, she is still relatively 'young'. Everything should be OK, but she just wants to double check. She still can't believe they're pregnant. She can't seem to grasp that a product of the love that Brian and she share is actually growing inside of her.

"Hello little one" Olivia whispers to my abdomen, "you're daddy and I are so glad you're here!" "I love you, little one," she whispers softly.

Olivia exits the bathroom and out to the kitchen, Brian had let himself in apparently "Breakfast smells wonderful Brian. What is it?" He turns and smiles, "I thought I'd try making scrambled eggs. We'll see how it ends up in a few moments." "I'm sure it'll be wonderful. So, how was your night?" "Well, it was good, but I was thinking with the baby coming I could use your help around the apartment, or maybe we should find a larger apartment to have room for the baby."

"Really, Of course I think it's a great idea" and with that both smile and go back to their breakfast. "Brian, you're never going to believe this but the moment that I walked in this 1-6 yesterday, everyone knew I was pregnant." He turned and smiled, bringing dinner with him. "I still can't believe it, Liv."

"Me either, we were so careful" "I guess this little baby had other plans. Olivia smiled, but then her higher senses take over and she's reminded that she haven't eaten anything yet, "I hope you made a lot of this, Brian – I'm hungry." He couldn't help but laugh, "Liv, that is a silly question. Being with you would demand me making no less than can feed an army."

A few hours later Brian wished that he could snuggle into his favorite lover's pillow, but his beloved was actually sitting up in bed, apparently reading a book. Contentedly sighing, Brian studied her for a few moments, not bothering to disguise his sheer adoration of his lover. Her beauty as always, threatened to overwhelm him. But it was her deep brown eyes, the scars Lewis had left on her after his assault on her. He counted his favorite flaws. And then he closed his eyes just for a minute.

Ninety minutes later, Olivia opened her eyes. Stretching, than glancing at the clock on her nightstand, she was surprised that it was after one in the afternoon. She hadn't realized that she would doze so long after her mid-morning delight with her lover. A fond smile crossed her lips as she considered their recent lovemaking. Then she glanced over at her lover, wondering what kind of mood he now was in. Except that he wasn't in any kind of mood. Instead, he was sleeping rather deeply as evidenced by his soft snoring.

For a moment she was amused. And then she paused as to recollect other mornings of exercise, tangos and sex over the past three weeks. Brian had slept deeply after those recent encounters as well. Was she wearing him out? She supposed that it was possible - especially if he wasn't getting enough sleep at night. Being with her had not completely stopped his bouts of insomnia.

She slid out of bed and observed that her movements about their master suite had not disturbed him. Checking her desk for his schedule she noted that he had a meeting with Tucker at two p.m. Placing down her book, she went into their joint dressing room, took a quick warm shower, and donned her work outfit, black slacks with a black shirt. Her fingers fumbled for a moment as she put her badge onto her belt. She still wasn't quite used to wearing it. She wondered if she ever would get used to the weight of it…

Poking her head out of the dressing room, she saw that Brian had not yet awakened. Apparently her rummaging and dressing had not been enough noise to disturb him. Considering this fact for a moment and then picking up her sidearm from her lockbox she kept on a shelf located in her two-thirds of the dressing room/closet, she walked over to the bed and watched him. There appeared to be nothing wrong with him except for the fact that he was sleeping. For some reason, he really was tired. Still, something started niggling in her brain cells. Something wasn't quite right…Making up her mind, she walked through the dressing room, away from the bedroom, over to the sitting room that she had yet to start to decorate.

Her personal item was on a small French inlaid escritoire that had once belonged to her mother. Olivia had found it charming the first time she noticed it in storage. The writing desk and a small matching chair were the only furniture in the empty sitting room sorely in need of new wall paper and paint to cover the maroon walls with goldenrod trim. Redecorating this room was high on Olivia's "to do" list. She powered up her IPhone. A moment later she was out the door and to work.

"Liv, how are you?" "I'm fine, Amanda. And you?" "Rushed and facing an ethical dilemma. I'm still debating how much of this mess I really should leave behind to be dumped onto Fin's shoulders." Olivia laughed. "Fin loves a challenge. So dump away. And that's partially why I'm calling. Brian can't make his meeting with you this afternoon." With a perfectly straight face, Olivia added, "Something came up."

Olivia shook her head. "Oh, Brian is not playing hooky, Amanda. He already can identify by sight every rookie at the Police Academy. And he'll know their scholastic records by the time he swears in." "That's something I was never able to learn. The rookies - they kept a'changin'." Amanda grinned. "After a while I just paid attention to the smart ones and the really dumb ones." She arched an eyebrow.

Olivia swallowed the bait. "I got the impression that Brian had crossed a captain or two when he was a rookie. That he wasn't the perfect rookie." "When Brian was a rookie, he most definitely was not perfect. The great ones never are.

"Oh, Brian won't destroy any official records. Why, I wouldn't be surprised if he uses his disreputable past as an example when lecturing some of those really dumb and smart rookies." "You're probably right. "Olivia eyed the blonde-haired, very forthright young woman. "Why do I get the feeling that if you'd been Brian's superintendent you would have called him both smart and dumb." "Considering how long it took him to get you, you know your Brian so well, Olivia. "Both ladies laughed together. "Olivia, if he's up to it, I can see Brian tomorrow at one."

A very naughty response almost crossed Olivia's lips, but she wasn't that well acquainted with Amanda. They might call each other by their first names, but a true, lasting friendship had yet to develop. Though Olivia did believe that it was certainly possible that a friendship was growing.

After saying good-bye, Olivia rested against the back of her chair, considering her lover. Professionally, personally and ethically, she should no longer be his personal Sergeant. It was one thing to be his SGT at the 1-6. It was another thing to continue in that position in a complex full of detectives. She needed to find someone to take over that duty. Picking the right precinct to deal with Brian was not going to be an easy task. She mentally reviewed the few precincts with whom she was acquainted with. Making up her mind, she contacted another Sergeant that she knew. She needed more information before picking a precinct. One name was brought to her attention and made a phone call.

Liv, missing your old stomping grounds? An older woman spoke. You'd better believe I am missing my old precinct. I knew everyone there…" Olivia gaze was wistful for a moment. Then she pulled herself together. "Janet, I need some advice.""

"Depends" Olivia laughed. "My request is easy - I think." "Shoot." Janet waited for Olivia's response. "I need to find a new precinct for Brian." She had to wait for Janet to stop chortling. "You're asking me? Ooohhh, the possibilities!" Olivia interrupted her. "Damn. I know the absolutely perfect place for Brian. But I wouldn't dream of inflicting such a crotchety, oh-so-rationally-superior, pain-in-the-ass Leuitanent on you."

After Olivia stopped laughing, she asked, "Well, since you've been around the 1-2 a lot more than I have been during the past few years, it's the perfect place for Brian." Janet's eyes narrowed. She was sensing some sort of concern coming from Olivia. She suddenly became serious. "Is something wrong with Brian?" "Not that I can detect. He seems okay especially since he heard the news about the baby."

"You know, Liv, that sentence actually makes sense to me." Both ladies laughed together again. "Liv, I'll be sending you a few names of Captain's I trust - and like. Run them by Munch. He's got a pretty good take on how to handle Brian. And which one of these detectives would survive Brian. I pity the one you pick." "Thanks, I think." Olivia grinned. "You don't pity the detective that I'd pick for myself?"

"Don't be silly. Whomsoever is lucky enough to become your new detective will be grateful for the privilege for the rest of their professional lives." Olivia was about to protest but she realized that Janet would have none of it. "Thank you, Janet."

"Don't be silly. You'd do the same for me. By the way, not that you told me, but congrats on the new baby" She never could keep a secret from Janet. "Thanks Janet, I'll talk to you later. Olivia chatted for a few more minutes, getting caught up on all the important gossip before Janet started complaining about her slave driver of commanding officer was paging her to come to the precinct. Letting Janet go, Olivia sat there for a while, mulling over things.

Later that evening at their apartment "I heard you laughing." Looking up, Olivia saw her lover standing in the doorway of the office, wearing only his blues. He walked over to the desk and bent down to kiss her cheek. Olivia turned her head to make this gesture an affectionate quick kiss on the lips. Smiling, she rubbed her thumb over her lover's lips and removed the traces of her lip gloss, before she let him go.

"I was talking with Janet." Brian shuddered, before asking, "And is Janet looking for a new SGT?" Olivia chuckled. "No I needed advice on a new location for you." Knowing that inquiring about such things would never have occurred to Brian, Olivia smiled before she added "And Captain Cragen is a slave driver." "Ah, Good for him" Deciding not to brooch the subject of a new precinct until she'd sorted through Janet's list of units after she'd received it, Olivia decided to change the subject.

"I talked with Cragen." "Oh?" "He wants to see you tomorrow instead of today." "I see." These words sounded ice cold. Olivia could see his professional persona flowing over him. He thought that she was interfering - which she was; not that she would admit it to him.

"You were sound asleep, Brian. I really didn't think that I should disturb you." She let her fingers slide up his shirt collar until they reached his jaw line. Slowly she let her fingers traced the angles of his face, hoping to distract him. "Why not? Disturb me, that is." Olivia's smile held a shadow of sorrow as she answered him. "Your sleep has been disturbed far too many times during the past few years, Brian. I just thought that you should have a chance to listen to your body and do what your body is telling you to do when it isn't a life-or-death situation."

He paused, considered her words and then nodded. "You're right of course. Once I become a detective again and you become ensconced at the 1-6, I suspect that neither one of us will have that much time for naps in the afternoon." Olivia walked her fingers down his bare chest. "Well, we don't just have to nap, you know." "Olivia," he sighed, exasperated. "You are an insatiable woman." "You say that like it's a bad thing…"

Brian bent down and lifted her into his arms. "Much to my surprise, I am discovering that it is a highly-to-be-desired thing." He kissed her brow. Then he placed her back down on her desk chair. "Brian…" she protested as his fingers swiftly undid her slacks. "You're the one who got dressed, mon coeur…" Suddenly he stopped her undressing and asked, "Was there a reason why you're wearing your dress blues?" "I've a meeting - at four." "Whatever shall we do for the next two hours?"

"Anything you wish, my darling, as long as we save enough time for a bath together." Brian thought that her request was reasonable as he bent down to passionately kiss her. Eventually they made it back to bed.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Harummmpphhh…" he muttered to himself as he bent over and picked up a pair of boots resting on the slate blue colored Kerman Oriental carpet just inside the door to their bedroom. He muttered the same sound again as he bent over to pick up a pair of black dress socks. Then he went in search of their mates. He found them a few meters closer to the walk-in closet/dressing room that Olivia had sort of confiscated since the moment they'd moved into their new home in a Manhattan subdivision.

He glanced about as if looking for something and then located it. "At least she hung up her coat- this time," he mumbled under his breath, as he picked up the black dress socks and skirt that was in a clump on the lounge.

"Brian, is that you?" a cheerful voice called out from beyond the bathroom door.

"Yes, Liv" This was said with his calmest, most controlled voice.

"Come and join me."

"Harumph." he muttered again. Then he leaned over and placed the socks and dress in the closet, her shoes neatly on her shoes' rack, and stood up, closing his eyes as he rested his forehead against the edge of the closet door for a brief second. He strove to maintain his control. "I'll be there in a moment." He kicked off his slippers, took one step closer to the bathroom door in his bare feet, and then cursed in pain, rather loudly, "DAMN!" Hopping on one foot he plopped himself down on the blue and gold silk embroidered upholstered bench that was in the center of the dressing room.

"Bri. Is something wrong?" For Olivia had caught the edge of pain in Brian's cursing. "I stepped on your damn WTC bar!" he yelled back as he inspected the rising bruise and slight cut on the ball of his foot. "You're always losing them!" A moment later Olivia entered the dressing room wearing only a rather large ivory towel wrapped around her damp, scented body.

She knelt before him trying to inspect the damage. He jerked his foot away from her. She slapped his hands away and grabbed his ankle. "Behave!" she ordered. Reluctantly, he relaxed and permitted Olivia to inspect his injury. "Give me a moment, and I'll fix you right up." Standing and then kissing the top of his head, she added in a much softer tone of voice, "And if you're a good boy, I might kiss it and make it better." With that, she went to get the band-aides, duly noting as she walked by her uniform, that her WTC bars were right where they were supposed to be - on her uniform breast. Pausing for a moment, she inspected the thick Oriental rug on the floor, and immediately spotted the offending bars. She bent over, picked them up, handed the bars that belonged to Brian over to him without saying a word, and then bent over to fix his foot.

He glanced down at the bars that did not have a caduceus on them and grimaced. When she was finished, she sat down next to Brian, crowding him so that their hips touched. Not quite ready to admit that he'd been in the wrong about the source of his injury, he instead quietly asked, "You were saying something about kissing it and making it better?"

She ignored that statement. He wasn't the only one who could be out of sorts. Glancing about the dressing room, she too-casually stated, "You know, this room connects to the rooms beyond. At one point this truly was a master suite, complete with master and mistress bedrooms and bathrooms, as well as two dressing rooms and a sitting room. In the old days, you really had to walk if you felt like sex in the middle of the night." She ignored his disapproving glare. "I'm thinking of putting a bed in the bedroom on the other side."

"No!" His reaction was sharply and stiffly stated. She eyed him even as she mentally relaxed at his over-reaction to her suggestion of sleeping somewhere else. He didn't want her to leave… "I didn't say that I'd be sleeping there." "What?" Olivia knew that she was confusing Brian. And that he was trying not to reveal it to her. "At least, not all the time. Only when I am staying up late working on something or maybe for the baby?"

"No." This time he was starting to sound angry at such a suggestion. Olivia smiled, heartened by his protests in spite of his grumpiness. She leaned into him, resting her head against his shoulder even as she stroked his arm. "Darling, I'm only proposing that since I'm going to be decorating those rooms anyway, it might be a wise idea to create another place to which we can retreat."

He was silent for a moment. "I don't care where we sleep as long as we sleep together. I don't ever want to sleep in an empty bed again - when it is not necessary, of course."

She smiled. "I agree. Even if someday when I might be furious with you, we still should share the same bed after we're done yelling at each other." She understood his feelings for they were hers as well. "Well then, when I get that room finished, let's sleep there for a while." Her voice softened, acquiring a husky tone. "This is a big penthouse. We may want to try out all the bedrooms to see which ones we like best."

He joined in with her laughter, relaxing into the irrepressible force that now ruled his life. "Such a dilemma..." He leaned over to kiss her even as he fingered the knot to her towel. She swatted away his hands. "I've got a meeting that I must attend…" His smile was full of understanding. "Later, then."

She stood and whispered, "Now, let me dress. Go and bother Munch. I'm sure that he'll find something for you to do." He watched her dress before he left. Suddenly all was right with the world again.

"Where the devils are my slippers!" he grouchily complained. Olivia sighs a most patient sigh before she looked up from the book she was reading whilst resting in bed against a wall of blue pillows. In a loud, clear voice she asked, "Brian in front of you." The grumpy man groaned. "You placed my slippers at the end of the bed rather than the closet?" Though he did have to admire her obvious solution to a problem that had vexed him over the years.

"That seemed to be the most efficient way to answer your slipper question. This is a big house. It's easy to lose them. Be nice and polite and I'll answer your question every time." Ignoring Olivia's sarcasm, he glanced about. "I know I didn't place my slippers at the end of our bed." He paused and thought for a moment. "At least, I don't remember placing them…"

Olivia lightly laughed. "You're not going crazy, Bri I hired a housekeeper to pick up around our house. I've noticed that you seem distressed when I move one of your books or touch your coffee cup, so I thought a housekeeper putting things back where they belong was the simplest solution." He didn't know whether to kiss her or to complain. He did have to appreciate her solution though.

Olivia mightily sighed as she stirred more cream into her tea. Resting back against her bright yellow wicker fan back arm chair, she sighed again as she looked out over her beautiful garden. She was sitting at a small table in a breakfast nook near the family kitchen. Brian had dashed off this morning after only a cup of coffee. But Olivia didn't have to be at the 1-6 until ten a.m., so she was enjoying a peaceful cup of tea.

Olivia thought briefly of what Brian had told her about his relationship with Eline. She guessed that in his life undercover she had accommodated herself to his needs in those idyllic memories for they hadn't really been real occurrences. Olivia picked up a croissant and slathered some raspberry-rhubarb jam on it.

Later that afternoon Brian looked about their bedroom, examining the small things. Everything was in its place. The mahogany book stand next to his new, favorite, comfortable arm chair, held all of his current reading choices and books. There was a carafe standing next to his favorite coffee cup and saucer sitting on a small side table by the navy blue upholstered chair. A vase full of zinnias and marigolds was centered on the oak mantelpiece. The lavender upholstered slipper chair by the window had not a solitary flimsy, silk undergarment draped over it. There wasn't a half-empty tea cup in sight. And there wasn't a slipper - hers or his - in sight either. In short, the room was in picture-perfect condition. And somehow, instinctually, it felt so very wrong to him…

Meanwhile at a small boutique not far from the precinct "That was absolutely, sinfully delicious," Olivia declared as she placed down her Georgian sterling dessert spoon. The mocha chocolate mousse she'd just consumed had been the best mousse she'd ever eaten. She'd eaten all of it with no apologies for delighting in it. She then stirred the cream in her tea with a tea spoon that matched the dessert spoon. And then she took a sip of the finest brewed tea that she'd ever tasted. In short, this luncheon had been divine.

"Thank you, Detective Benson. I always knew that you appreciated the finer things in life," her host replied, pleased that he had pleased Olivia. Winston Holt Wiley knew the difference between toadying and true compliments. Olivia's opinions - at least of the food that he served - had always been genuine. "It was a superb lunch, Winston. I'm glad that you asked me to come."

"Well, when you called my office to make an appointment I took this as a sign from the heavens that I should ask you to lunch. It's been years since we've shared a quiet meal together."

"I just expected to take a few minutes of your time…" "You know me, Detective. The chance to spend an hour or two in the company of an intelligent, beautiful woman is something that I rarely deny myself." He eyed one of his favorite detectives in her dress blues. Few people actually looked good in such a uniform. Olivia was the exception. "You know, you can petition to change the style of your uniform if you wish."

Winston motioned toward a crystal decanter and two glasses that a silent waiter had just placed on the table. "Port, Olivia?" "No, thank you, Winston, I'm due back at home this evening." "I could always order you to take the afternoon off." "Thank you. But I've got too much to do." Winston stood, finished off his first glass of port, refilled it and then motioned toward a burgundy upholstered bergere to the side of his massive inlaid Louis XIV style d'ore ormolu and inlaid wood bureau plat desk.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"Hmmm…," she hummed into her boyfriend's bare chest. Not that she would admit it out loud in case it might wreak havoc with his ego, but the aftermath of their lovemaking, when she was joyfully held in his embrace, was her most favorite time with Brian. She could rest against him, feel the security of his warmth, hear the steady beat of his heart, and know the sheer satisfaction of finally being held in his arms. So many years had been filled with emptiness and longing. And now it was bliss.

Then she considered her new job. She knew that she would have to choose her words carefully. She didn't want Brian to think that she was not grateful for his prior maneuverings on her behalf when he had been negotiating for her position with Cragen when he'd first told the Captain that he wished to leave his captaincy. But it was her work, her ideas that had captured Winston Holt Wiley's attention. And finally, she was being given a job that really meant something. An opportunity to make a real difference; a job that she had earned with hard work and sacrifice. She could barely control her burgeoning excitement.

"Bri…" she whispered, expectantly. He said nothing. Raising her head she looked up at his face. He was sleeping. She rolled off of him a bit, waiting to see if her movements would awaken him. They did not. Three hours later he awakened her with a kiss. "Mmmmm…," she sighed as she recognized the touch of the man who kissed her with such great tenderness. "Time to get up, Liv. We're due at Cragen's for dinner in less than two hours." She bolted upright into a sitting position. "What? It's that late?" "You fell asleep." "No, you were asleep." "Then you fell asleep. I woke up a few hours ago…" "You let me sleep?"

"Liv, I checked your schedule. Since Holt had already given you the afternoon off, I decided, for a change, to let you listen to what your body was telling you. I let you sleep." Even as she stood and accepted a turquoise embroidered robe from her husband's hands, she was thinking. "You know, I think we need to be checked out. Maybe we are suffering from pregnancy syndrome. It's been quite a while since both of us have been on a continuing schedule. Maybe we haven't quite adjusted to the changes yet."

"Is that why a Dr. Bader sent me a message confirming your prenatal exam in two days?" "Oh." Olivia paused, "I meant to mention that. Dr. Bolt said she comes highly recommended by some of her friends as well as Amanda. And I like her." "Janet may have mentioned it to her."

Brian frowned. "If Janet knows about your condition, then that might explain why you forgot to tell me. Olivia walked into the dressing. Brian followed her. "You really can't just blame Janet for that one. There are other suspects." Though privately, Olivia was sure that Janet was the most likely suspect. "True. Both Nick and Fin are capable of plotting such a thing." Olivia stood in front of her row of evening gowns. She'd acquired quite a few during the past few months. "Evening gowns or dress uniform tonight?"

"It's not too formal of an affair. I think." "Good. I just bought a new gown." She arched an eyebrow as she grinned at Brian. "You might find it interesting…" "There may be rookies in attendance" She made a face at him. "Spoil sport. I'll just have to save that dress for our 2-year anniversary…" With that riposte, she walked into the bathroom. By the sounds of the water, he decided that she was taking a water shower instead of a bath. Perhaps he should join her…

The next morning Olivia felt terrible. "Food poisoning?" she mumbled. Olivia didn't want to open her eyes. In fact, she didn't want to move at all period. Yet something, or someone, was prodding her.

"Liv, open your eyes." Reluctantly she pried open one lid then the other. She recognized the dark eyes staring back at her. "Dr. Bolt?" she whispered. "You're at Mercy General, you and your friend Brian Cassidy." Olivia closed both eyes for a moment, thinking. "It must have been the jerk chicken…"

"For what?" Dr. Bolt patiently asked "The food poisoning." "No one else, other than the Brian, became ill." Dr. Bolt chuckled. "Though that won't stop the rumor mills from working overtime at the thought that Cragen poisoned not one, but two detectives." "The chicken wasn't that spicy. Brian can stomach…" "Tia cuisine," Dr. Bolt interrupted. "He informed me of that fact a few minutes ago, in between his most vocal demands that we take care of you first." "That's my Brian," she muttered to herself.

Dr. Nora Bolt smiled, checked the monitors above her patient's head, and then nodded at a nurse to continue the monitoring, as she walked away from her patient's bedside in the adjoining room at Mercy General. Once the wretchedly ill couple had been transported over to emergency from Cragen's once quiet dinner party, Dr. Bolt had been summoned after it was determined that Brian's flu-like symptoms were not life threatening. The couple had then been moved into the secured wing of the hospital that treated important people.

Dr. Bolt had already figured out what was wrong with Olivia Benson. But trying to figure out why her boyfriend had the identical symptoms was the mystery here. Returning to her office she pulled up the medical and classified files that she now had access to because she was the couples primary care physician, and started investigating the commonalities of the couples lives.

About half an hour later, a nurse approached. "Dr. Bolt. Detective Cassidy is insisting that he be returned to his residence. He says that the nausea has stopped. And that he is no longer light-headed." "What about Olivia?" "She's demanding the same thing, after she speaks to you of course." The blond haired, Swedish medical resident at the other end of the desk suddenly grinned. "As sick detectives go, she's not too terrible."

"And hear I always say that it was doctors who made the worst patients." Nora smiled, shaking her head. Her long honey-brown hair was tied up in a ponytail. It bounced as she moved. Dr. Bolt was a tall woman, from old California stock. Her mother had married a doctor naturally she became a doctor as well.

"Nils, tell Olivia that I'll be down to see her personally. And tell Brian that the more that he protests, the more tests I will find to run." Nils grinned as she signed off. A few minutes later after she double checked the medical reports from a certain incident, Dr. Bolt walked into Olivia's private room and shut the door.

"Well, Dr. Bolt," a much less lethargic Olivia asked as she touched the bed controls so that she was now sitting upright. "Food poisoning or a particularly nasty strain of the flu?" Nora pulled up a chair. "Neither." Then she said nothing. Olivia thought for a few moments before guessing, "An allergy? I can't recall ever becoming so nauseous so swiftly before." "That's a possibility, though it is unlikely since the other person suffered from the same symptoms as well."

"Don't tell me it was poison…" Olivia's eyes darkened at this thought. She was well aware that there was a reason behind all of the security precautions that Brian had ordered once they'd got their new home. Even though he'd been dismissive of them as normal Olivia knew better.

"No." Dr. Bolt patted Olivia's hand. "This was not an assassination attempt." "That's good to know." Olivia sighed in relief and relaxed. And then she really looked at Dr. Bolt. "Dr. Bolt…" It was then that Olivia realized that the lady was quite amused, with her. "The only other thing that I can think of is that its morning sickness." Olivia shook her head. "But that can't be right. Brian got sick too…"

"Sympathetic symptoms." Olivia merely looked at Dr. Bolt in disbelief. "Are you telling me that its morning sickness at night?" Nora raised an eyebrow. It was the only outward indication that she'd overheard Olivia's mutterings. She hadn't quite pegged Olivia and Brian. "But Brian's vomiting…" Olivia chuckled. "I just realized that Brian is never going to know his definition of normal again." Olivia didn't explain further. She moved more upright. "I take it that the baby is healthy?"

"Oh yes, in spite of your, uh, maturity, everything seems normal. Though I will wish an OB could closely monitor you for the next two months at least you are just beginning of your 9th week of pregnancy" "Nine weeks pregnant? Olivia calculated the conception approximation, coming to the realization it was their trip to the Bahamas over Christmas. Sure they used protection he wore a condom she wore her diaphragm, apparently the water in the hot tub dislodged her diaphragm and damaged the condom just in time to make the baby. At the time in the heat of the moment she really didn't care much about getting out of the hot tub….Lesson Learned… back to reality "Ok I really want this baby. And I have a suspicion that Brian will want it even more than I do, if such a thing is possible." Olivia would have said more if she hadn't been interrupted by Brian

"I already did." A slightly shaky Brian stood in the doorway. He was wearing a hospital gown, much to Olivia's amusement. He nodded at Dr. Bolt. Olivia extended her hand toward Brian. "Somehow, I don't think that Dr. Bolt gave you permission to get out of bed." As he walked toward her, he announced, "Yeah, she didn't," he sheepishly admitted.

Olivia waited a moment. "Well, since they're not coming in here to drag your tail back to your bed, I am assuming that you are going to be all right." "That Dr. Bolt smirked at me, Liv" he complained, "When I asked her how you were, she smirked!" Trying not to laugh, Olivia motioned for Brian to sit down on the other side of her hospital bed as he sat down next to her. He continued to complain. "Dr. Bolt is not acceptable as our doctor. We must choose another doctor." "I like her," Olivia sweetly said. "And you'll like her too, once she's done running all of her tests." "More tests?" "Why not now, she really does have to find out why you fainted…"

Brian harrumphed. Still a little unsure of what he should do, Brian bent over and kissed her cheek "Trust me, Bri. I have experienced your Mother's orders before. I truly do understand." "Be gone!" she ordered with a laugh, sweeping her hand in the door's direction. After Brian had closed the door behind him leaving Olivia smiled.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

If I kill Munch, you have to keep me from being sent to the tombs," Olivia began before the door to their, penthouse even had time to slam shut. Her right hand pressed against her lower back and her left steadied her balance by clinging to the edge of the desk. "Munch is a hypochondriac."

Setting down his book, an old, paperbound version of "The Merchant of Venice", dear to him because of the wonderful strength and intelligence of Portia, Brian started to get up from his chair. Watching her take a deep breath and straighten, he realized he couldn't yet place all of her body language. If she was in pain, her unfounded rage was keeping it from him. He worried frequently for her physical well-being. Watching her become so dizzy on the elevator had been difficult for him and Brian still felt the protective need to keep his gaze on her when she was in the room. Perhaps it was just a period of adjustment for both of them, Olivia hadn't had the first two months of her pregnancy to adapt to the changes in her body, and he hadn't had the time to integrate his new role into his life.

"Of course," Olivia's tirade continued, "he thinks something's wrong with the medication. Munch thinks he needs to talk to one of the doctors and monopolizes his when I need him to work on the cases before him. Sighing as she released the desk and started towards the center of the room, Olivia dropped her badge down off of her belt yanking viciously on her sidearm holster.

Tearing the holster off her right hip, she dropped it on the sofa near the window. Pulling her hair back from her shoulders and starting to knot it up, she gave up and loosed it again as she paced in front of his desk. Making an angry line between the kitchen and the doorway to the bedroom, her feet never stopped moving.

Bending her back in a slow arc backwards, Olivia rolled her shoulders from side to side before her right hand landed firmly on her neck. Long fingers dug into the muscles there as she turned to him. Is it possible my pregnancy made it into the gossip between the local precincts? I just don't see any reason why they should care or why they don't just come out and remind me to be careful because I'm pregnant. As if I'd forget! So on top of everything else, this wunderkind uni, who looks barely older than Rollins, just continues to insinuate that she knows without actually saying anything of the kind. Like she's trying to goad me into mentioning it first," Taking great care not to smile, stare at her or move too quickly, Brian removed his empty coffee cup from the table and made his way slowly to the dishwasher as she paced to the other side of the room.

While she hovered between the desk and the sofa, she continued to run through her day. Her coat falls from the other side of the couch to the floor squatting down to pick it up instead of bending her back; Olivia balanced and glared at the coat. Without missing a moment, she continues. "The DA wants to know if we're ready with the Reynold's case we have been working on since before I was pregnant."

Laughing harshly, Olivia tossed her infuriating leather coat onto the sofa seat instead of the back. Following behind her, now that he'd let the dishwasher reclaim his cup, Brian took her coat and folded it neatly in his lap. Sitting on the sofa as he tried to remain out of her way, he continued mutely watching her.

"Of course, it's completely impossible!" she snapped angrily and turned back to him. Her left hand flew to her hip and her right started pulling her hair back behind her head. In the last few minutes, it seemed she'd decided to tie her hair back after all. Brian allowed himself a moment to enjoy the contrast of the black of her casual attire. "I try to explain that to her but she gets increasingly unreasonable as the conversation moves on."

Now pacing the shortest route in the room, between the desk and the window while she spoke, Olivia still hadn't made eye contact with him. "Brian, it's like hitting my head on the wall when I speak with that woman. No matter what I say, she thinks we work miracles over here and have absolutely nothing else to do. Maybe no one goes rock climbing or catches scum on the streets of Manhattan's 1-6 precincts. She still has three times the staff I do and five detectives! She has more than enough hands to run her own prosecuting cases but she seems to believe the data will somehow be compromised because she's getting the initial data through our M.E."

Throwing up her hands, Olivia tried to stick them back in her pockets, but her coat was gone and she had to fidget with them in jeans instead. "As if we weren't going to send our results through the DA! As if every order, every bit of data we get from the rape kits doesn't travel through our social networks to begin with. If it were so unreliable we'd be at war with the suspects simultaneously and trading for deals with the DA." Taking a deep breath, she folded her arms over her chest and finally brought her gaze to his.

Watching her pace was easier from his position on the sofa. Covering the discarded coat, his hands rested in his lap. When she didn't launch into a new tirade immediately, Brian set the coat aside on the coffee table and folded his hands into a pyramid on his legs. Keeping his tone even, Brian looked up at her with the most neutral expression he could manage.

"How would you feel about something Italian for a late dinner?" he suggested. "I was just reading about the streets of Venice and I think it's put me in the mood."

Her abrupt change in mood was so intense he could almost hear the wall of anger crashing to dust behind her eyes. "Damn," Olivia swore before she sank heavily to her knees on the floor in front of him. Dropping her head to her hands, she made a disgusted sound in the back of her throat before lifting her head and apologetically making eye contact. "I was going to try not to do that." Hitting her fist against her knee, Olivia stared directly up into his face. "We just talked about this at breakfast. We'd agreed I'd at least say hello before I launched into my reasons why everything is wrong with the world at warp speed."

Sliding off the sofa to sit nearer to her on the floor, Brian reached for her chin. "That was your rule, not mine," he reminded her. "That doesn't mean you shouldn't hold me to it," Olivia retorted as she grabbed his hand away and held it tightly in her lap. "I made it for your own safety." Reaching for her shoulder with his other hand, he felt warmth run through his chest. "I could go back to the desk and you could come in again," Brian teased. "I believe I was just about to read the beginning of act five."

"Italian for dinner sounds wonderful," she replied to his almost forgotten question. "You know, Amanda and I had lunch together today at her apartment. A spring salad, the one with the purple radish-like things." Grinning as he leaned back against the foot of the sofa, Jean-Luc watched the tension in her posture start to ease. "I don't believe she was mentioned in the tirade," he said. Shaking her head, Olivia changed position and crossed her legs beneath her instead with a sigh. "No, she wasn't," she agreed. "Talking to her was one of the bright spots of my day."

Chuckling in the back of his throat, he straightened a lock of hair that had fallen into the collar of her shirt. "Perhaps while we work on saying hello to each other, we can work on adding the positive parts of your day to these recaps." Closing her eyes and smiling, Olivia tried to relax as she sighed again. "She returned from the eighty-eighth annual Police Academy Art exhibit in the Bronx three days ago," she reported. Smiling as he replied drolly, Brian felt her take his hand from her shoulder and squeeze it.

"However, listening to her explain how to eliminate the hideous grey slugs that are after her vegetable garden was by far the best part of my day, at least, since I left you with the breakfast dishes again." Nodding dryly, he remembered her continuous, hasty apologies as she got dressed and hurried to the precinct. "We may need to start getting up earlier," he observed.

Groaning and getting to her feet, Olivia rescued her coat from the coffee table and hung it where it belonged by the door. "Can't we just eat faster?" she hoped, reaching down to offer her hand to him. "Should you really-" he wondered as he refused her hand and stood on his own. Rolling her eyes at herself, Olivia sighed and shook her head. "No," she answered the unfinished question. "No, I definitely shouldn't try to be gallant and help you up.

His surprised glance made her laugh. "I didn't touch anything," she promised, though her smile was impish instead of serious. "So far my biggest physical complaints are stress related and I'd really like to keep them that way." Pausing on his way to the kitchen, Brian caught her chin and kissed her lightly. "Welcome home," he said. "I hope you had a good day."

"It had its moments," she answered, resting her forehead against his. Her skin was cool and the smell of her hair reminded him of lying next to her in bed. "Breakfast, my visit to the IAB, Amanda's grand tale of how she conquered the mighty slug invasion, dinner, a shower and bed." Keeping his hands on her hips, Brian kissed her again. "I hope you're not setting the bar too high," he wondered dryly. "I haven't even made dinner yet."

"Cannelloni, caprese salad, the city's best approximation of a Merlot and rosemary herb bread," she recited his usual choices when they had Italian as she slipped from his grasp and sank onto the sofa. Yanking off her boots as she ran through her predictions, Olivia finally stopped projecting frustration around her like a firestorm. "We'll eat. You'll laugh when I tell you about the slugs. You'll tell me what the 1-6 was really doing today, how IAB found new ways to create more paperwork and drive me mad. We might deviate and have tiramisu or talk about how Amaro and Rollins keep taking long looks at each other when they think no one sees them."

Crossing his arms over his chest, he stared her down from the stove. "Two weeks together and it's already become that dull and predictable?" Dropping unceremoniously to the floor of their living room, her boots lay forlorn at the edge of the sofa where she abandoned them. Olivia pulled her legs up to her chest and massaged her toes in slow circles through her socks. When she didn't hear the sound of the stove hissing, she looked over at him innocently. "Maybe I like it that way?" she asked, only half-teasing.

Brian created exactly what she had predicted. Moving the dishes from cupboard to table, he set it under her affectionate gaze. Lining up the plates around blue candles in the elegant candlesticks that had arrived in the wave of things from her apartment, Brian caught her eye as he lit them. "You're entitled to your opinions," he replied. "I reserve the right to be surprised by them."

"I thought you'd like those," she said, lazily pointing at intricately carved stone candlesticks. "I half intended to give them to you when I bought them last year, but I never got around to parting with them."

Setting the wine and the glasses around their plates, Brian poured it first, letting the main dish remain on hold at the stove. Cider had no real effect on pregnant women, for which he was doubly grateful. Dinner without wine was an anathema to him, and it calmed Olivia's nerves.

"It appears they have made it to me regardless," he joked as he fingered the cool black stone of the one of the candlesticks. "Ingenious of you to find a way not to give them up," Fetching the salad, Brian set it on the table before he moved to stand over her at the sofa. "Madame," he jested, reaching for her hand. "Your uninspired dinner is served."

Smirking as he helped her to her feet, Olivia wrapped her arm around his as they crossed to the table. "Brian, there's a vast difference between predictable and unconscionably dull." "Good," he answered quickly. "Perhaps you'll do me the service of warning me if we ever get too close to the later." Shaking out his napkin and dropping it to the table, he reached for her plate and stopped in surprise when her hand caught his.

"Thank you," she murmured. Appreciation radiated from her face and suffused the warmth of her touch. Confused, he returned the pressure of her hand and replied, "It's the work of moments to make dinner, Liv." Laughing at the joke only she understood, she released his hand and allowed him to serve her. Taking the plate, she met his eyes. "I'm sure it is no small effort to return tranquility to your home have each time I invade them with my barrage of post-shift complaints."

Tilting his head as if he'd never considered the idea Brian nodded slowly and pretended it was just dawning on him. "I do remember a certain difference in the ambience of my home," he mocked. "However, I haven't yet." Laughing over her salad, Olivia reached for a second slice of bread and set it on the side of her plate. "Have I ever mentioned how much I like coming home to destroy the silence of our home?" she wondered impishly.

Lifting the bread knife and cutting a few more pieces, Brian watched as her salad disappeared quickly from her plate. "Besides," he added. "The noise level hasn't come up for discussion yet."

TBC…


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Setting her fork down and reaching for her glass, she tapped it with her finger before she asked over the rim. "Should I be grateful?"

"Liv," he retorted more seriously. "We can talk about it whenever you want." Pushing his salad around on his plate, he found himself distracted by the thought of a baby. Her pregnancy wasn't obvious, except it seemed to other women who have been pregnant before. She had mentioned that her hair was starting to change and that was something she liked. That was part of what he'd been thinking about, thus far, she had mentioned very little that wasn't positive. Her sense of smell was becoming more acute and Olivia had only mentioned that as an excuse to spend last night in Central Park before dinner.

Watching her reach across the table and steal a piece of mozzarella from his plate, he offered her another pass at his salad plate, in case there was anything else she was interested in before he cleared both of them. Her fork stabbed into one of the tomatoes and another piece of mozzarella before she nodded and let him take them away. The dish washer hummed in the background. Carrying the main course back to the table Brian decided to take advantage of the calm after the storm.

"While we are on the subject of things we haven't discussed," he began as he set her dinner in front of her. Waiting for him to sit before she took a bite, Olivia blew lightly over the pasta on her fork and waited for him. Brian lifted his own fork but then set it down again. "How are you feeling?" Olivia had already taken a bite and she nearly choked on it as she started to laugh. "Bri?" she wondered and looked genuinely puzzled as she stared at him over his untouched dinner. "I monopolize all of our conversations. Weren't you here when I got home and talked your ear off about how I felt?"

"I meant physically," he clarified. Resting one hand on the table, he reached for his wine glass with the other. Across from him Olivia's fork twirled in the white, melted cheese on the edge of her pasta. When she set the fork down, her fingers danced in the edge of her napkin. "Fine," she answered simply. "I'm fine." She pretended she needed her napkin before she returned to eating. When he looked more carefully, he saw she was simply moving pieces of pasta, cut from the whole, in the sauce on her plate.

Olivia smiled in response was genuine and she relaxed enough to start eating again. "You make me sound like a caustic agent," she said. Raising an eyebrow in response won a chuckle from her and Brian passed her another hunk of bread. "I suppose that's a fair assessment," she admitted once she'd swallowed. "Are you suggesting that my outbursts are analogous to your hermit-like qualities?"

Brian set down his fork and set his words in order in his mind. They'd already begun to have this discussion in various forms over the past six days. Drumming his fingers softly on the table helped him decide of how it should conclude. "Both of us need to be able to take off the uniform," he began. Idly spreading butter across bread for her, he handed it over as he continued. "We have been, and are still, very good friends, however we're both starting to realize we're going to need more than that. We've both been careful, almost unnecessarily polite with each other-"

His dry chuckle surprised him out of his thoughts. "Bri, I'm entirely too harsh with you," she retorted. "You are harsh in my general direction," he corrected as he refilled her wine glass before thoughtfully leaning back with his own. "You are hardly harsh with me. Besides, Liv I believe all my time as a cop has prepared me to take it." "I hope so," she murmured. She was smiling again but there was a hint of regret in her eyes.

"To be blunt, this has never happened to me before," he began, watching as she toyed with the last of her dinner. "I have never experienced parenthood, you deal with kids every day you're good at it. That's probably why they like you so much despite what they've been through. Olivia had to lean across the table to reach him and he set down his wine glass to meet her hand halfway. "I appreciate your strength," he finished. "I know you have never been one to complain. However, I have to admit I'm fascinated. What's happening inside of you is completely foreign to me and I want to know what it's like. At least as much as I can within my limited, male, perspective."

Bringing her other hand to his, she squeezed it before she left her chair to clear the empty plates. "You make it sound like you're jealous Bri." "I don't envy you what must be a host of physical complaints," he offered, retreating to the sofa with their wine glasses in hand. The dishwasher hummed as it cleaned the remnants of dinner. Her brown hair fell lazily down her shoulders and his eyes traced the elegant curve of her spine. "Are you aware you hold your stomach in your sleep?" he asked as she made her way to him on the sofa, plate of tiramisu in hand. Olivia used the single fork to pass him the first bite. Her thumb traced his bottom lip and her eyes were fixed on his, "At night, you curl up into me-" he stopped when she buried a giggle. "I do get us rather tangled, don't I?"

Taking the fork from her hand, he nodded and held her gaze before her smile faded. "Your ability to make the most of available space is one of your best qualities," he replied. Cutting through the chocolate dust on the top of the cake with the fork, Brian lifted a bite to her lips. "When I wake up I find you holding your stomach. That unconscious bond is something I wish I could understand. To be frank, I envy it very much."

Taking his hand way from dessert, she set the tiramisu aside on the coffee table and wrapped herself around his chest. "My head hurts," she admitted shyly as he watched her fingers fidget with his hand in his lap. "The back of my eyes hurt before I'm done with my paperwork." His gentle chuckle calmed the restless movement of her hands. "That can't be important-" she trailed off. "On the contrary," he disagreed and released her shoulders so she could retrieve the tempting dessert from the coffee table. It ended up balanced on his lap. "Thank you for sharing that with me," he finished.

Olivia took another bite before she dropped the fork on the small glass plate. "Bri-" Keeping the fork from falling off onto his legs, he held it lightly. "You think I'm not being serious." "I know you are," she corrected. "I'm just wondering how much time you spend watching me sleep." "You have a rare gift for falling asleep," he reminded her. Running his hand along the line of her arm considered the question before he answered. "I used to lie in bed and think, even recite poetry before I fell asleep. I find watching you much more pleasant." "I love you," she said, surprising him as her head dropped to rest against his chest.

His heartbeat seemed to have become both too fast and too loud. Brian knew that was impossible. How could he love a woman as much as he loved her? Olivia's head rose from his chest and her eyes softened and became sympathetic. "Does that make you nervous?" Covering his heart where her head had been, her hand lay calmly on his chest. Staring down at it, her long fingers reaching up towards his collar, Brian realized his heart really was giving him away.

"Your heart rate increased," she explained, suddenly shy. "I didn't mean to startle you. You admitted you loved me in public, I thought it was about time I-" "I know," he interrupted as soon as he sensed the fear seeping into her tone. "I mean, I've known. Liv, forgive me, even when it's just you and me, I still find myself searching for what I want to say."

"You're quite charming when you're tongue-tied," she quipped. As if she sensed dividing her attention would make things easier, she retrieved the nearly forgotten dessert and started to poke at it with her fork. Leaning forward, he put his head in his hands for a moment and looked back up to see her watching him with her fork in her mouth. "I do love you," he began. "I'm not sure I can say for how long. I don't even think it's important anymore."

Her cool fingers ran along his chin before she turned his face to hers. Brian could taste tiramisu as she kissed him. Her lips were tentative, her tongue patient and her fingers slipped to his neck. Turning into her deepened the kiss and Brian felt her leg slide down towards the floor. Her fingers crept back towards the nape of his neck and he felt her smile before they parted.

Tracing the smooth skin of her shoulder, he trailed his hand down her upper arm while she dragged him roughly out of his grey T-Shirt. Dropping that to the floor as well, she started towards the bedroom, stripping off her tank top as she walked.

"I had to go up a bra size," she complained mischievously. Olivia's fingers rested on the waist of her black slacks as she sat on the edge of their bed. "My red dress," she continued. "The one I was planning to wear at the NYPD banquet so you'd have something to distract you from the dreadful speeches, doesn't fit across the chest.

His quizzical look as he stood over her made her laugh impishly. "You wanted to know what was different," Sliding her bra straps down around her elbows, he crouched in front of her. Taking the bra by the center, he pulled it gently free of her hands and brought his hands to cover hers. Her hands darted away and landed on the small of his back, running up his spine before pulling him down to kiss her again. Need made that kiss sweeter and more desperate. There were rare moments in his life where he allowed himself yearning. Kissing down her neck, he made his way down her collarbone. Olivia wrapped one of her legs around his back and pulled him closer to the bed.

One of her legs draped over his stomach and the other pressed to his side as they caught their breath. His hand went to her hair and listlessly stroked the damp curls sticking to her neck. His breath came back slowly and Brian didn't rush it. Breathless satiation filled him like an electrical field and he thought he could almost hear the hum.

Olivia sighed as she lifted her head with one arm. Smiling contentedly down at him, she traced his lips with a tender finger. Lowering her head, she kissed his forehead. "Bri," she murmured slowly. "There are almost as many ways to avoid saying that I love you as there are moments when it screams in my head. I do love you."

"Right," he replied as he moved his legs to let her fix the sheets. "I love you, too," Brian replied simply. "From you I almost expect it to be literary," she taunted, settling into the sheets before sighing in disappointment. Olivia sat up and kissed his forehead again before she abandoned him for the bathroom.

Brian closed his eyes and let his mind drift on a quiet sea while he waited for her. The warmth of her body and the weight of her head on his chest was back in a moment. "I love you," she echoed as he took her hand and let her settle arms around him as he lay on his back. "Remember that in the morning," she begged with a heavier sigh. "In case I behave as if I don't."

"I'm going to remember how you are now," Brian teased back. They lay in silence as she moved his hand to her stomach. Allowing it to rest there, she covered it with one of her own. "If only I'd known," she muttered to his chest. He knew he had the option of pretending he was already asleep, but his curiosity won out. "Known?" Olivia sighed regretfully. "Had I known you were like this in bed, I would have gotten pregnant long ago."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Olivia's chuckle carried from the other room. When she reappeared in the doorway to the bedroom; she was wearing her long, cream-colored nightgown. As if to tease him, she wore his blue robe over her nightgown and pulled it tight over her chest as she curled up on the sofa. Moving his tea to the coffee table in front of the sofa, he sank gratefully into it and closed his eyes. With his hands behind his head, he allowed the silence to relax him. To his surprise on his left, Olivia's sigh was almost a moan.

"What?"

Olivia's shoulders moved as she took a slow breath. Her hand pressed into the center of her forehead and she tried to force the sensation that bothered her away. "Got a bit lightheaded taking off my boots," she answered. Bringing his arm around her shoulders, he pulled her closer and, to his surprise, she let herself slide all the way into his lap. Resting one hand on her shoulder, Brian stroked her hair with the other. Rolling back further into him, she tilted her head so his fingers were on the skin of her forehead. Her skin was cool but her body was heavy warmth in his lap. He couldn't help musing that three weeks ago, he would have ended his day alone with his coffee.

"It's all right," she assured him before he could demand more of an explanation. "I thought this might happen. I hoped-" Pushing her thumbs into her forehead as if she could force the feeling away, she sighed again. "I guess I hoped I skipped over this." As if she could hear him opening his mouth, Olivia preemptively answered his question.

"It's not like before," she promised and he felt her hand squeeze his leg just below the knee. "This is nothing, a mild annoyance." Trying to allow himself to agree with her, he put his fears into the back of his mind. Getting rid of them all together was too difficult, but he could try to keep them in their place. Brian curled his fingers against her cheek.

With it gone, he started to worry she was going to fall asleep in his lap. "Do you need to get anything else off your chest before we go to bed?" he asked, stroking her cheek. "Nothing more."

"It's all right," he assured her quickly as he tried to be available to steady her if necessary as she pulled herself up from his lap. Halfway to a sitting position, she quickly changed her mind and lowered her head. Resting his hand against her forehead, Brian watched her eyes close again. "I was planning on becoming ill if it became necessary," she replied dryly. "I can falsify symptoms with the best of them." "I appreciate your dedication." Her lips smiled; they were tight and the gesture didn't reach the skin around her eyes. Even closed, Olivia's eyes betrayed her emotions as they tightened anxiously. Concern was keeping her awake.

Brian sought her hand and felt a sudden rush of warmth in his chest as she wrapped it in hers and brought it to her stomach. He'd been trying to adapt to the feeling of contentment that had wormed into his psyche. Occasionally, even at the station, he had trouble keeping himself from smiling. "What is it?" he asked. Her sigh this time was more directly related to the answer that followed. "It's nothing Brian." "That bad?" he asked. Pulling her legs up onto the sofa, Olivia shook her head slowly. "Sometimes I just don't think I could handle being pregnant and running the 1-6."

"I doubt you're the only parent who feels that way," he assured her. Her silence made him worry she was still berating herself for not being to read everyone's mind. Finding her wrist and caressing it slowly, Brian wondered what the duality of parenting would be like. They were beginning to embark on the greatest adventure of his life and this baby was only beginning to live.

Olivia touched his chin and drew him back. "Have you put in your request for leave yet?" Her change of subject surprised him and it took a moment for him to realize what she was talking about. Brian nodded and he watched her smile as she felt the motion of his head with her fingers. "Tucker has offered me an interesting choice. I intended to talk with you over breakfast." "Oh?" she asked.

The single word was a plea for distraction and hearing the need beneath the artificial lightness in her tone, he acquiesced. "I can retain my badge and use my leave sparingly closer to your due date in September, which is the response I expected from him. On the other hand, he offered me a fairly interesting second choice. I can step down from all duties and be a UC while in the 1-2 until August and take off until after the baby." That piqued her curiosity as he thought it would. "Did they give you any idea what it will be?" "Tucker finds my interrogation skills to be somewhat lacking-" "I wasn't aware Tucker had even considered you," she teased and he couldn't help smiling. "So with your reputation as a rouge detective, he thinks someone else could learn something," she finished his thought. "Tucker's not asking you to leave the 1-2 is he?"

"I will remain in the 1-2," he answered dryly. "He's not going to ask me to relinquish my badge, but I will not be involved in the day to day operation of the 1-2 but rather working at the 1-2 as a UC not as a detective." "If it's any consolation, the 1-6 will be sending a trainee detective," she offered sympathetically. "Most likely someone fresh from their sergeant test, ready to take on everything in the 1- 6 single handed. I retain administrative control, Fin becomes acting SGT on the duty roster while I'm on maternity leave until Christmas. I'm trying to convince myself, I'm looking forward to it."

"How is that shaping up?" "It's a work in progress." "You look tired," Brian observed as she sat on the sofa "I am". "I can see the circles under your eyes?" he continued without waiting for her to answer. Hearing the hum of her toothbrush through the door, he dragged himself up and started getting ready for bed. He was dropping his uniform into the laundry slot when he found a balled up black sock on floor near the bed. Dropping to a crouch to search for the other one, Brian heard her sigh heavily and saw the light from the bathroom cease.

"Bri," she teased after a moment. "I doubt there are any monsters under there." The blankets fell and he felt her cool hand touch his head. "I think you scared them away." Confused, he tried to decide what she was talking about. "Who?" "The monsters," Olivia reminded him. He laughed lightly…

Finding her other sock by the corner of the dresser, he dumped it into the laundry slot with his uniform. Stripped down to a soft pair of shorts, he climbed into bed with her. Olivia curled into his chest and shivered once before he pulled the blankets up. Preferring to feel the air, he'd slept with thin blankets his whole life. Having her in his bed was almost warmer than he was used to, however there was no denying the pleasure of her skin against his.

He had never expected the course of his life to bring him there and now he felt an odd sense of symmetry. He was facing that which had seemed so alien to him thirteen years ago and now it held promise. It was certainly worth a few socks on the floor of their home.

TBC…


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The next morning in the bathroom her lips became a thin line in the mirror and she quit speaking. Resting her hand on her stomach, she silently reminded herself that he would like an explanation when she felt up to it. Brian walked around the corner into the bathroom settled his hand on the location he associated with their child. It wasn't visible in her nightgown; he could find the slight differences in her figure. Her breasts were rounder and her hips were starting to gain more flesh.

She dropped her head and her stomach twitched beneath his hand. Then she abruptly pushed him back. He was still holding her waist when she vomited. Her ribs expanded then contracted hard. Liquid from her stomach splashed into the water of the sink and he could smell the acrid fluid. She gasped, choking before she vomited again. The condition was an annoyance and he realized the nausea was the real problem. Distracting himself as he watched her ribs spasm beneath the skin of her back, Brian felt his gorge rise as remembered the last time he'd watched someone vomit it wasn't exactly a good memory. The irony of holding her was as poignant as the sympathetic twisting of his own stomach.

This child was an unexpected moment of weakness for her after Lewis's assault on her. Maturity wasn't something he struggled with. Even his unrequited feelings for Olivia were suddenly necessary and appropriate. She loved him with a passion that surprised and frightened him now that it was out in the open. He knew that understanding why she'd become pregnant was a necessary next step, but helping her cope was as far as he'd come.

He still couldn't wrap his mind around the thought that his child was the intangible thing causing her illness. Startling him from his reverie, Olivia drained the sink angrily rinsing it once again. Her breathing was still irregular but he was grateful the force of vomiting hadn't restarted the bleeding from her nose. Her hand shook visibly when she lifted it to wipe her mouth. Listening to her cough dragged him back to the present. Spitting out the last of the fluid from her stomach, she groaned and kept her head down.

"If you're going to look at me like that now, you'll never make it through labor in seven months," she threatened. "This is the first time you've thrown up," Brian reminded her. Setting the bloody towel aside, he wet a clean one for her face. "By the end of my shift it felt like the world was spinning," she admitted darkly. "Her hand covered her mouth for a moment before she swallowed and bit her lip. Rubbing her mouth with the back of her hand, she recovered. "Not as romantic as you expected, is it?"

"I didn't-" he began and stopped, correcting himself. He had a vague idea of what pregnancy was. "I thought it would be like every pregnant girl" Olivia leaned over the sink to rinse her mouth. She spat out the water and shook her head ruefully. "My mother said when she was pregnant with me it was bad, I had no idea. I'm only nine weeks I suppose I should be grateful it [morning sickness] started at 9 weeks rather than 6 weeks like every other normal woman. It [morning sickness] tends to go away around week 13.

"You look beautiful." "I wanted you to know that," he reminded her. Her weak smile suggested his adoration had touched her and he reminded himself to be patient. Olivia had gambled that he would accept this child. She'd bet on feelings he'd tried to keep hidden for thirteen years. Olivia grabbed the edge of the sink with both hands and dropped her head again. "You-" he could hear her throat constrict and her voice was harsher when she continued, "-Should go back to sleep. Give me another minute and I'll forget how I got into this and want to kill you too." Calling her bluff, Brian remained. He kept his hands in contact with her skin as if he could transfer his strength.

"Don't suppose you can order God to hold the world still?" she asked. Olivia kept her gaze straight down into the sink. "I used to get butterflies in my stomach before dance recitals. I hated it, but I'd take them back in a moment," Olivia hissed and tried to use her breathing to control her stomach. "This morning sickness I get when I'm pregnant is overkill." Keeping a hand on her back, he leaned out of the bathroom enough to reach his IPhone and called Fin. "Fin, Liv will NOT be coming in today, you are in charge." With that he hung up his phone and went back to Olivia.

Reaching out to Olivia was more sobering, Brian was careful not to dig too deep. Nausea and the compounding emotions were unpleasant. Sometimes physical ailments were ignored by him, but morning sickness seemed to be something he could pick up on. Olivia's nausea was a commanding force, like a dust storm that stung Brian's eyes. The guilt stuck like pitch on his fingers, something he couldn't get off, no matter what he tried. "You didn't have to Brian."

"You were up at four in the morning vomiting" he retorted. "You've also been having stress headaches and dizzy spells. It was stupid to think you could go to work in the first place and I owe you an apology for putting you in this situation." "Brian I don't regret getting pregnant, it's just something you have to get used to myself as well. Pulling herself up straight, she glared at him and wished she could melt him into the desk. Pointing out the tall window, she reminded him sharply, "It is my job to be down there at the precinct."

"It is not today, Fin can handle it," he thundered. The outburst stopped her thoughts from racing any further. He'd left the desk and now blocked her view of the front door. Taking a deep breath, he straightened his uniform. "We both made a conscious choice to undertake a very personal responsibility. I am acutely aware of how vulnerable that has made you Liv."

"I am the acting Captain of the 1-6 Brian-" He caught her wrist and held it gently. "You're also carrying our child." He was right and that made her lightheaded. Pulling free of him, she sank into the sofa and put her head in her hands. Yelling at him had actually helped her headache, though she still felt off. It wasn't just guilt wreaking havoc on her system. Olivia could blame hormones for most of her symptoms. Her body had been asked to work miracles in a very short time and adapting was more difficult than she realized.

Brian touched her knee and crouched in front of her. "One thing I've learned about you is that the hardest part is letting others take on some responsibility. Throwing yourself into the line of fire is one thing, sitting back and allowing, even ordering someone to possibly risk their life, that's the hard part." Sighing in frustration, she pulled her head up and grimaced. "Brian, I know the burden of command speech, Cragen fed it to me often."

"We got into this without looking," he reminded her. "Somehow as blind as we both were to our feelings; we stumbled into this-this gift. Now we have a responsibility to the well-being of this child." "I got us into this," she sighed and smiled down weakly at him. "I didn't even ask your permission." "Well, I do expect to be involved next time," he teased. She knew he was trying to coax her into smiling, Olivia just couldn't manage it.

The sudden wash of weakness was like a downpour putting out a forest fire.

Olivia felt even less stable than she had when she'd walked in. Without the anger keeping her headache and guilt away, she felt both emotionally and physically wretched. His hands took hers and cradled them inside his own. The warmth of his touch was comforting but her guilt lodged in her throat like a stone.

"Liv," he looked up from her hands and smiled warmly. "I am not required to ask your permission to care for you and this baby. I need you to understand that my feelings for you are not part of an idle infatuation or sense of duty. I don't worry about you simply because of your physical condition." His grip on her hands tightened and his blue eyes stared into hers. "Love is not an emotion that I easily express. Once given, I can't deny my feelings nor can I ignore my responsibility, even my need, to protect you."

In the silence that followed, she tried to process the depth of his admission and simply felt overwhelmed. The fog in Olivia's head seemed thick enough to dim the sounds in the room. "I never asked you to love me," she whispered. He reached up and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. Brian would never allow himself the gesture anywhere other than behind a closed door. The intimacy of it was enough to make her eyes sting. Olivia felt the strange twisting of her stomach again and wondered if it was a misplaced emotional response.

"There are some moments that require no invitation," he responded. Reaching up and holding his hand against her cheek, Brian smiled. "Well then," he returned to his feet and flicked his eyes to the kitchen "Did you come up here just too verbally dis me or is it safe to assume you have time for lunch?"

Olivia still drank tea out of habit. Brian knew she was too responsible to allow herself to do anything to harm the baby. Even though the tea has caffeine she made sure it was the natural, something she learned while UC in Washington state. He could see Olivia swirl the metal mug of dark liquid and looked at her work. She expected it to take most of the day to sift through it all.

He crossed his arms over his chest and stood near the door to the office. He'd been on his way up from the station, and he'd been compelled to stop. Brian didn't need to break her concentration and speak with her. He had needed to see her, if only to help him think. He'd confessed over lunch that he was starting to doubt Tucker's intentions with him he would save his pronouncement until he knew more, but he trusted his instincts. Paranoid, overly cautious, suspicious suspects didn't do well when they were asked to interact in the interrogation room. Brian didn't trust him or his plan.

Mulling over it in the office would let him put his thoughts in final order. His stop in the station was personal, a few moments where he would allow his mind to rest on something other than duty. In her office, Olivia had stopped writing her report and now had her head buried in her hands. Her fingers dug into her scalp and he realized the headaches weren't just an end of the shift problem, as she'd been trying to convince him. He'd stared at a computer screen long enough to give himself a few headaches, but for her it was only an hour after lunch.

Shaking herself out of it and bringing her eyes back to her work; Olivia turned in her chair and reached for a file. Somehow she managed to dislodge the entire stack on the shelf behind her desk and several of them fell to the floor. When they hit, they danced along the carpet. Hearing her curse, he winced sympathetically from across the room as some of the files slipped out of reach.

Olivia favored her left hip as she crossed her office and retrieved the file she wanted. It had landed beneath the desk. She paused to knead her fingers into the obviously sore joint and he wondered how he'd missed that behavior and the slight frown that accompanied it. It was possible that it was a difficult day or that when she'd slept her hip had been pressed oddly against the bed. He knew she hadn't slept well. When they'd finally made it back to bed after her episode of nausea, she'd slept curled up in a ball at his side. Brian had enough trouble going to sleep before he'd known she was ill. After she'd been sick, he had become acutely sensitive. Every sound in their quarters dragged him back from sleep and each time she moved, he woke for a few seconds just to make sure she was all right. Listening for a chirp summoning him awake was one thing; sleeping next to someone who might need him was something else. Even if it was the middle of the night, he was uncomfortable letting her be ill alone. Brian was unaccustomed to that type of responsibility.

It wasn't just sharing the space in their bed and her sleeping patterns to which Brian had to adapt. His books moved when he wasn't home. The shelves where he had kept some of his art were places where she needed to keep her plants and everything in their home shifted. He'd had her as a constant breakfast companion, but now they shared dinner and lunch when they could fit it in to their schedules. Olivia's socks ended up on the floor and forgotten cups of tea plagued both of them. The time where he'd known exactly where all of his things were in his apartment had ended abruptly when they purchased the penthouse together.

Someone cleared his throat behind her and she turned, burying surprise on his face. "Can I help you?" Fin asked politely. "Olivia isn't busy if you need a moment of her time." Tugging his jacket down sharply, he attempted not to let his smile appear too foolish. He didn't want to admit he'd already gotten what he needed. Waiting made him uneasy and knowing Amaro and Rollins were in danger made it fairly impossible to sit at home. Touring the station served the dual purpose of easing his mind and reminding the team of his faith in them. His stop in the office had been more for his peace of mind than anything else. Brian was almost relieved that seeing her was all he needed to put his mind at rest.

"Thank you Fin," he replied politely. "I'm quite well, thank you."

Escaping through the doors was an ungainly exit, but it got him out of the office before he was caught. Brian spent a moment filing the tightening of Olivia's eyebrows and the frown that accompanied her discomfort into his thoughts. He knew how to read most of her facial expression from years of friendship. The smaller nuances that came from being lovers were adding to what he understood of her and he had time to develop those senses. Understanding her pregnancy was more time-sensitive, he only had a few months to define his role.

Brian sighed and scratched the back of his head as the elevator brought him back up to the top of the station. The mission came first and by the time the elevator opened life as he knew it and the baby were all that was on his mind.

TBC…


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Reading a book of her own Olivia thought not to put up any resistance with her eyes started to sting. She knew it was hopeless. Not telling him made it nearly unable to look at him. Olivia bit her lip and wished she could skip ahead through the next few minutes.

"I've spent my life pushing the boundaries of the law to save lives," she began. Giving up on eating for the time being, she focused on his eyes. "I surprised, even scared myself when I managed to create this baby. If I miscarry, if anything else happens, it'll be my fault. I dragged you into this because I was too selfish to live without some part of you. I couldn't lose you.

Balling up her napkin, she dropped it angrily on the table. "I created all of this and then forced you into it," she snapped at herself. "I couldn't see what I was doing. I loved you. God Brian, I was willing to lose this baby if it meant getting you back. I didn't care how long it lived if it got you back with me."

Her hand lay forgotten on the cold glass of the table until he lifted it and cradled it in his. "It's all right," he promised. None of his confidence was in his voice. His tone was gentle and it carried more weight coming from the heart of her lover. "I can't imagine how disconcerting it must to feel something like that."

"Brian, when I felt the pain I thought something was wrong," she replied with a shudder. Pulling her hand away would have been too isolating and she clung to his warm fingers. "I didn't let myself think it was normal. I've been ignoring it. I didn't even consider- Dammit, I didn't even consider it _was_ normal. I can tell you the exact moment and precisely what I was doing." She hadn't realized how damp her eyes had gotten. Then the stinging in her nose flared up and reminded her how close she was to tears. "I didn't want to let myself wait for it. It might never have happened-"

"Everything is fine." "I know that," she said, squeezing his hand. "I know that." "Olivia, it's all right," Brian insisted. He turned in his chair to face her directly and his other hand reached for her chin. "In every way, you are doing the best you can. This pregnancy is new, something you've never experienced before and you can allow it to be so. Not only because of the circumstances surrounding conception. Your age, our relationship, having me around all the time- all of that is a great deal different than what you are used to" He paused and grinned.

"Much more than I expected," she teased him and brought her shoulder up to nudge the hand on her shoulder up towards her cheek. "We'd stay up late, too late, talking about you and the baby," he related, smiling. The peace on his face was as calming as his voice and both soothed her nerves. "You would marvel at how my belly would expand. We laugh together and I'd have to remind you that the heart knows no distance to be insurmountable. You were the most intimate relationship I ever had in my life."

Pushing her chair back from the table, Olivia circled the corner and climbed into his lap. The chair creaked and he had to change positions to make room for her. Brian's hands found their way around her waist and she curled up. Her head dropped to his shoulder and it took her a few minutes to find the words. She sighed and let the weight leave her chest, "I loved you."

"I love you too," he agreed. His lips touched her hair. Brian didn't complain about the fact that he could no longer eat with her in his arms. "Having a baby of my own was something I never allowed myself to desire and as a result, never intended to have but it didn't keep me from dreaming a baby would come along someday, by adoption or however one came along. Bri, is it just me, or is this happening really fast," he chuckled and she could feel the motion of his chest. "We did lose a few years."

Olivia wondered if those years were payment for the time they'd wasted. How long had he had feelings for her? Since he returned to her? Before that? How much time had she spent burying what she felt? Moving Brian's hand across her stomach to rest over the pinching, Olivia sighed. It was too soon for him to feel it, but she wanted to connect it to him.

Trying to let go of her underlying fear, she tried to reconcile the fact that she could accept the baby as a person instead of a responsibility. Their baby was healthy and in a very short time, it'd be here. Brian was right, in many ways it was easier with someone by her side. He was present all of the time, her career was settled and things were different. She'd been more frustrated and less frightened with his support. Brian's methods of support had been drastically different. Olivia still wasn't entirely sure how to cope. Having Brian didn't mean turning her back on the past she knew she needed to learn to see it in a different light.

TBC…


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Olivia was certain she'd just poured her tea, but when she lifted the cup it was cold. Pulling her short blue robe tighter around her shoulders, she settled deeper into her chair. Her legs were folded beneath her and her boots were in a heap by the door. She'd had an idea when she'd walked in and she had gone straight to the computer. It hadn't helped. Her head ached and her mind had wandered.

Trying to force her mind to behave, she tapped the keys on the computer keyboard. Olivia had the time and the resources because of her position with the 1-6 meant she had one of the best labs in the city. Keeping busy was also necessary because it prevented her from feeling her guilt.

The precinct's labs were more than prepared to adequately perform its duties, she berated herself. It was her DA that wasn't functioning up to standards. The team was a reasonably good to her with minor setbacks. It should have been easy to press charges.

Setting down her cold tea, she wracked her brain for the answer that would help her in court. The glass rattled slightly against the surface of the desk as she tapped her fingers. Beverly shoved her tea on the far corner of his desk where she couldn't hit it with an elbow. Somehow under the influence of this baby, everything that wasn't tied down or part of the ship was in danger of being knocked over.

Tea on Brian's books would not be acceptable to either of them. Apologizing would damage her emotional control to the point where she either snapped or sobbed and neither of those seemed like a good way to end the night. Sighing at the cold cup of dark liquid, Olivia wondered if she should get up and put it into the dishwasher.

Lowering her head to her chest, she acknowledged both her headache and the pain in her neck. The vagueness of the pain behind her forehead suggested it was just another hormonal thing. At least her stomach had quieted enough that she was reasonably certain she was hungry. Their late dinner would still need to be something simple, but she was looking forward to him returning so she could eat.

Brian was probably still trapped in a pointless, paranoid discussion with Tucker or trying to track down whoever was in charge of the IAB. Olivia checked the chronometer again and decided to give him until 10:00pm before she ate without him. Tapping her fingers along the desk, her thoughts coalesced Olivia didn't even realize she was biting her lip until the sting cut into her thoughts.

Her stomach twitched in response and it suddenly hit her that she hadn't been talking to the baby. Olivia hadn't let herself talk to the baby yet. She'd always assumed she would talk to her baby. Sometimes while she'd been working in the field, she would have been subjected to a running commentary on her anatomy lessons with the M.E. This time she hadn't said a word. Being pregnant had introduced new sensations, some of them almost painful. Why did she expect this to be different? Why did every unexplained firing of a nerve make her nervous?

Olivia didn't think she was nauseated again, but the fluttering that appeared at random intervals was actively distracting. Now that she no longer had her work to occupy her she felt worse. She knew the nerves surrounding her internal organs were few and indistinct. She couldn't expect to instantly know what was happening to her. Intellectually, she understood that the reordering of her internal organs would be uncomfortable. On a deeper level, she was terrified.

She'd cheated fate and used an untried, unproven, potentially deadly method to bring this baby into being. It was going to die. Each time she wasn't nauseated, Olivia worried she was miscarrying. Whenever she felt sick, she hated herself for being foolish enough to cause the pregnancy in the first place. She'd backed herself into a corner and let herself get so worked up she'd missed what mattered.

The baby was moving. Even though she had not acknowledged the baby's presence as a living thing, It was viscerally real. "Congratulations," his voice startled her out of her work and Olivia jolted up from the computer screen. Staring at him in shock, Olivia blinked. "What?"

"You're making your happy face," he explained as he took her tea from the edge of the desk and brought it to the sink. He slipped between her and the desk and kissed her forehead.

The warmth of his lips eased her headache momentarily. Reaching up for his shoulder, she held him there for a moment. Closing her eyes, she sighed and concentrated on the feel of his muscles through his uniform.

"Oh I've just come to a realization when I was thinking about us." Opening her eyes immediately would have been premature and given away that they were damp. Olivia smiled up at him as he kissed her forehead again. "Missed you," she sighed and squeezed her eyes dry before she opened them."I missed you too."

Sliding up to sit on his desk, he moved her books to a neat pile. _What to Expect When You're Expecting_. Hardly light reading is this what you've been reading?" he let that question float as he studied her face thoughtfully. "You're a bit peaked." Smiling instantly in response only made him shake his head, even though the behavior was intended to soothe him. "You mean, how's my stomach?"

Her feet started to go numb from the way she was sitting and Olivia shifted positions. She couldn't pull her knees flat against her stomach the way she used to, but her hips were flexible enough to allow her to get comfortable for the time being. She didn't know how to tell him she could feel the baby. A different kind of fear overtook her. She wondered how the reality of their baby being a mobile creature instead of a vague illness would change his feelings.

Brian rested his forehead against hers. His thumb ran along her jawline, stopping to caress the corner of her mouth. "Your lips are pale," he noticed and took that as an answer to his question. "Mom's Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup and toast tonight then?" "It's a good thing you enjoy bland food," Olivia quipped. She kissed the pad of his thumb before he removed his hand from her face.

Chuckling as he left the desk, he headed for the refrigerator to collect the items needed for dinner. Brian replied over his shoulder, "Luckily for both of us, Mom only added her predilection for the flu to my childhood cuisine. Why are you studying about pregnancy?" "You'd be surprised what you can find out and what the school kept from you during your Human Sexuality course. I suppose they only wanted you to know how NOT to get pregnant." "To bad that wasn't quite what happened to us" Brian added with a laugh.

Keeping his robe around her shoulders even though the cabin was pleasantly warm, Olivia tapped her thoughts into her notes before she could forget. "Remember our rendezvous with the Cragen?" "You mentioned you had a project," he recalled as he started to set the table. "You know you don't need to wait for me every night for dinner."

"If I eat without you I have to make it," she replied. "If I wait for you, it appears in front of me." Sighing as she stretched out of her chair, Olivia heard the crackling of her knees. The soreness that accompanied the motion of standing made her wish she could eat at the desk. Straightening up, she worked the kink out of her spine. Her headache made her a little light headed. Walking to the sofa, she watched him arrange the plates and cutlery on their table. She sank into the softness of the sofa and curled up with her thoughts.

Why had it been so hard to acknowledge the baby's development? She'd seen the scans. She'd dutifully reminded herself that motion would be the next symptom. Olivia wondered if she'd gotten behind, confused by the appearance of nausea and the trouble maintaining stable blood pressure. There were so many big things to worry about. She had used to be so good at reading her body and suddenly none of it made sense.

Jean-Luc touching her shoulder startled her enough that she jumped. "Olivia?" "Sorry," she murmured and accepted his hand. "What were you saying?" "I asked if you had made any headway on the rape kit backlog" "Right" she corrected as he pulled out her chair at the table. Now that they lived together, they often sat at the same corner instead of at opposite sides of the table. They had a little less space but both of them enjoyed the extra intimacy. Too often physical contact had to be suspended in favor of decorum; in their house they needed the reprieve.

"The rape kit backlog? You looked like you had solved a puzzle." "I did?" she asked and wondered what had him so convinced. Her stomach twisted, than the sensation faded. Olivia knew she had to tell him but the words were evasive. "I did," she repeated more forcefully."

Brian set dry toast and the steaming soup in front of her. "Are you all right?" "I'm not nauseated," she promised him with a reassuring hand on his wrist. "I just feel a little odd." He caressed the back of her hand and continued, "Tired? Lightheaded?"

Smiling at the switch in their usual roles, she took a piece of toast and nibbled the corner of the crunchy bread. "Always," Olivia retorted with a grimace. "Actually I-" she let it drift and shook her head. "I'm sorry."

Brian rubbed her hand with his thumb and took her confusion as a cue to change the subject. "I've been reading a rather useful collection of medical texts from the Library" he related. Calmly taking another tactic, his voice took her mind off the flutter in her stomach. The pang that insisted she tell him what was happening assaulted her again.

"I put them together as soon as I found out I was pregnant," she remembered, touched that he had thought to use them for his own education. Olivia couldn't think of a reason not to tell Brian what was happening. He would guess soon enough and it was good news. So far, all of it had been.

Dr. Bader had run another ultrasound before Olivia had even left her office a few days ago. Aside from this baby becoming the most scanned since the invention of the ultrasound, everything was fine. The baby was fine and perfect despite her age and the circumstances of her pregnancy. There were no anomalies and the developing baby was healthy. Olivia's own cardiovascular system was performing adequately. Her body had met the challenge she'd forced on it. Her blood pressure was still alternating between the borders of low and high but that was more uncomfortable than problematic. Headaches, soreness and nausea were all acceptable. Carrying the symptoms like they were part of her choice, she felt she deserved all of them for forcing this baby into being.

She couldn't be frustrated with Brian, like she had been when she found out about the pregnancy. She couldn't fault him. He'd adapted better to the change than she had. She'd taken his solitary life and replaced it. When he came home at night, he had an evolving mess in his home and the interrupted sleep that came from dealing with her nausea.

Staring morosely at her dinner, she wondered if she could convince him to let her deal with her symptoms alone. Looking up as she remembered he was still speaking, she felt another surge of guilt. "-Have you?" he finished a question she'd missed entirely. Shaking her head, she met his gaze apologetically. "Have I what? I'm sorry, Brian, I wasn't listening." Taking a bite of toast, she waited for him to determine how to bring her back into the conversation. He blew across his soup, thinking as he stirred. She watched his expression grow quietly awed.

"Were you waiting to tell me you could feel the baby moving?" Brian asked. He sounded disappointed and it was all she could do to process that and what he was saying at the same time. "Olivia?" Setting her toast down quickly, she stared at him. "I'm sorry," she repeated foolishly. "I was somewhere else. What are you talking about?"

"You're distracted," the accusation was gentle. "I was just thinking," she excused. "I shouldn't let my mind wander so much." He ate his dinner thoughtfully as he watched her pick at her own. "Would you like company?" She could feel his eyes on her. If she held back any longer, he'd become concerned again and that was the last thing she wanted. "I'm all right."

"Good," he replied. Dipping the crust of his toast into his soup, he waited for her to continue. The expression on Brian face was patient and gentle. The one to which she couldn't do.

TBC…


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Reaching for the thick black tie wrapped securely around her eyes, Olivia's lips curl into a half-exasperated, half-amused smile. "Alright. Can I take this ridiculous thing off now?"

Dropping her hand, Brian steps away from his car and reaches for the tie wrapped around the back of Olivia's head, acting as a blindfold. "Very well."

As Brian unties the loose knot at the back of her head, Olivia puts a hand against his chest blindly, steadying herself on the ground. "I've been more than patient the entire car ride over here, this silly blindfold. What have you got up your sleeve, Bri?"

Olivia had been more than suspicious and surprised when Brian had not only withheld their destination from her during their short car ride, but also requested that she wear a blindfold over her eyes until they achieved their destination. He had been in such an uncharacteristically light-hearted and jovial mood that she couldn't help but cede to his request, knowing that whatever game he was playing she would thoroughly enjoy. So, she had easily complied, sporting the blindfold and playing along until they had arrived now onto the destination of some undisclosed location.

"Trust me," implores Brian, pecking her lips as he pulls the blindfold from her eyes.

Grinning, Olivia meets his eyes, leaning in to return his kiss. "Implicitly."

Abandoning the tie, Brian snakes an arm around her back, kissing her deeper.

Breaking off, Olivia glances over his shoulder. "Where are we?"

Taking her hand in his, Brian rotates slightly, observing the small transporter room. "Venture a guess. Anything look familiar?"

Olivia's eyes dart around the airport, quite nondescript and uniform. "Well, we're at an airport. We went from a car to the airport?"

"Do you recognize the airport" Brian inquires, guiding to the check-in.

Following Brian, Olivia examines the room, her eyes dilating. "JFK?"

Brian smiles at her flabbergasted expression, shrugging modestly. "I pulled some strings. Command owes me. I called in a few over-due favors."

Startled, Beverly blinks incredulously, hardly able to believe her eyes. "But…how?"

Smiling knowingly, Brian leads her by the hand across the room. "Declan said you had 4 months of leave saved up. Yes 3 of which I saved for maternity." "I know that leaves us an entire month to go on that European Vacation you talked about not long ago.

Pausing, Olivia stares incredulously at Brian. "So, you brought us to the airport to go on a European Vacation. How did you ever afford it?" "I live quite modestly over the last 20 years I have a very nice nest egg and of course my mother has property in Paris and we are welcome there. The only cost we have were our flight tickets, food, and souvenir's. It's the perfect vacation." "Oh Brian I can't believe you did this." "And I made an appointment with Dr. Bader so you won't miss any prenatals while we are away. She's agreed to do another sonogram." "It's perfect Brian" Olivia replies with a smile and a kiss on the lips.

Grinning, Brian was not disappointed in her response. "You told me a while ago that you wanted to visit Paris I figure it is the least I could do for the mother of my future kids." Interpreting the multitude of emotions registering in her expression, Brian takes her elbow and draws her in. "You're happy?" "I'm…I'm so happy, Brian."

Laying a hand against his chest, Olivia rests her forehead against his, smiling lightly into his lips. "It's the best gift ever, well besides the baby of course."

Smiling warmly, Brian relaxes, caressing her back. "Well, if you'd like, we can take a plane to Paris. But, if you'd rather, we can just turn around and go home."

Inhaling sharply, Olivia runs her hand along his chest. He knows how much Paris means to Olivia. The trip had been his first real act since finding out about the baby, and he was happy she was happy it's all he ever wanted. Olivia knows that for Brian to have the chance to see Paris is almost cathartic. "No. You wanted to see Paris. I'd like to see it. Let's take a tour."

Olivia takes a steadying breath, following his lead. She's here because Brian gave her such a wonderful gift and wants to revisit the romance they had lost all those years ago. She recognizes his passion for her and has never been more excited than she was at this very moment.

"Now I hate to rush the excitement of our trip but we have 1 stop to do before we board to Paris at 8:00pm. It is now 10:45 we have to meet Dr. Bader at her office in 15 minutes. Then a trip to the penthouse for our suitcases and a bite to eat then off to JFK by 7:00pm." "Right, my appointment, let's get going. Maybe she can give us a hint at what the baby is; after all I'm 19weeks today." "I know" added Brian, "That's why I set up the appointment." Both laugh and head out the airport and to a cab to Mercy Hospital.

Fifteen minutes later both Brian and Olivia head into 's office take a seat and wait to be called back. It wasn't long and Dr. Bader's nurse called them back. Olivia made her way to the table, got comfortable and before long Dr. Bader was inside the room setting up the ultrasound. It seemed like forever but after a quick hello Bader placed some warm transducer get on Olivia's abdomen and begins her scan.

After a few moments of unrequipped silence a smiles stretched across Bader's Face. "I hope that new pent house of yours has more than 2 bedrooms." "It has 4 why? Olivia asked knowing very well what Bader meant. "Because there are two little babies in there see here is Baby A, and this is Baby B. Apparently Baby B was hiding behind its sibling." "What twins, Brian asks dumbfoundedly," "Yes twins, now I can get a good picture of both if you want to know the genders." Olivia was still reeling in the announcement that she had not one but two babies. She was left speechless. "Yes we do, want to know its gender." Brian replied. Well baby A is a little girl and look she has an identical twin sister." "Wow girls" Brian's exasperated." "Girls?" Oliva replied finally finding the words she lost after the announcement of twins. Both couldn't believe what had just transpired what a way to start a Vacation.

TBC…


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Brian emerges from the plane, Olivia behind him holding his hand. He strides onto the gate of the airport observing the airports dim, quiet serenity. As he silently pads toward the center, he cannot help but consider this the stark contrast to the night, the flames licking up the Eiffel Tower fog billowing around the planes outside. The walkway is spotless, clean, and airy.

Laying a hand on his arm, Olivia studies his pensive expression. "You okay?" Lips curling into a small smile, Brian smiles reassuringly, reaching up to take her hand, recommencing padding to the center. "It's good to be here." "It looks great," remarks Olivia, glancing around at the scenery. "Did you ever see the tower?" inquires Brian, racking his brain.

"Yes," Olivia almost laughs, following Brian over to the window at the center. "In the books I used to read about Paris. Never in person, it's just like I imagined it would be. Exhaling slowly Brian half-smiling, realizes that he had indeed mellowed significantly over the past 13 years. Pulling her into his arms, Brian peppers kisses to her forehead. "Thank you for being here."

"Of course," answers Olivia easily. "Let's go catch a cab to get to my grandmother's family home," suggests Brian, pointing to exit out." Smiling jovially, Olivia slips out of his arms and over to the chair, lowering herself into the chair dramatically, extending her arms over the rests.

"Where's that?" asks Olivia mock coyly. "Keeping me on my toes," teases Brian, closing the small gap between them. Staring intently down at her, his smile fades. "Or, occasionally bringing me to my knees." Smiling, Olivia is touched by the sentiment in his words, but her smile vanishes as he drops one knee to the ground in front of her, balancing his weight. Taking both of her hands, Brian gazes unwaveringly into her eyes. "We began our relationship 13 years ago. Memories in our past, the good and the bad, were forged here as we grew close. I know it's…complicated. But, I did love you, then and now. I cared deeply for you, and I…I was in love with you. It wasn't right at the time, and while I would never have acted on my feelings, I first fell in love with you that night we were together,

hands trembling, tears pool in Olivia's eyes, recalling the time she and Brian had spent together, most of it when she was working with him. Their past had certainly been complicated, and her memories of that time are bittersweet. "I didn't want to bring you here to make you sad or upset," Brian continues, bringing a hand up to swipe at the tear tracks along her cheek, his thumb absorbing the moisture. "I wanted to reflect on how far we've come since that night, and to rejoice in the bond we've created since then. Every day I am grateful that I have you, and I am ecstatic imagining what will come next."

Smiling through her tears, Olivia sniffles. "Yes."

Later that evening at the Eiffel Tower "I didn't bring you here to ramble on endlessly about our past," admits Brian, a tiny smile curling in the corner of his lips. "I'm actually far more interested in our future."

"Future?" whispers Olivia breathlessly, one hand still in Brian's as he gazes up at her, kneeled before her on the ground in front of the chair.

Nodding, Brian grins. "Yes. Will you marry me?"

Astonished, Olivia's jaw drops, half-smiling, half-laughing in disbelief. "Yes. Brian? Yes! Of course."

Beaming, Brian leans up, cupping her cheek and running his hand up her arm as he captures her lips.

One hand on his shoulder, Olivia cradles the side of his face with the other. "Yes. Yes." Laying her forehead against his, she grins into his lips. "Absolutely."

Caressing her neck, Brian sighs in relieved contentment. "Whenever, wherever you want. All I want is to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you."

Peppering his lips with short kisses, Olivia tries to still her now rapidly beating heart, pounding profusely against her chest. "I love you, Brian. I don't care. The only thing that matters is that we're together." Heading back to Brian's grandmother's home and to a new beginning.

It was only a few minutes before they reached his grandmother's home he fumbled with the house keys and let them into a corridor. Kissing her longingly, Brian trails his hand along her collarbone, lazily dipping down to wander over one breast. His other hand encircles her neck, fumbling for the buttons of her blouse while closing the door behind them and leaving the bags at the door they made their way into the bedroom.

Grinning, Olivia breaks off, one hand against his chest. "Would you like to get out of here?"

"No," Brian replies in a low baritone, brow rose slightly. "I'd prefer to stay right here. Care to join me?"

Grinning in disbelief, Olivia's mouth falls agape.

"I went to all the trouble to make reservations," teases Brian, sliding the zipper down Olivia's back, letting his fingers trail along her skin as he pulls her blouse down glacially slow.

Sighing, Olivia rakes her nails down his chest as he unclasps her bra. "We can't let this opportunity go to waste."

"Excellent decision, Brian," whispers Brian playfully against her ear, kneading her breast.

Closing her eyes Olivia's stomach flutters, overjoyed imagining a life-time of being with the one who's always sent her over the moon.

TBC…


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

He had asked her where she wanted to go for their honeymoon, as he had planned to take an extended trip after the twins were born. He offered to take a flight and they could explore, go someplace new or relax on a tropical island. Olivia hadn't wanted to go anywhere. "We're always moving," she had argued. All she had wanted was to spend a few days seeing France, as she had never really explored the country. Further, since they would be back to New York City, she really needed time to catch up with life. Given her request, Brian had planned a couple days in Paris and a couple days exploring the French country side. Once they had toured France. It would be a short honeymoon; however, it was precisely what Olivia had desired. And, Brian had intended to toss in a few surprises along the way.

Tonight, in their[Future] home in Paris, Brian could care less where they are. All he cares about now is that the day is behind them and they are finally alone.

"I went to great lengths picking those out," chuckles Olivia, settling between the pillows on top of the massive bed as Brian rolls the white lace panties, her last garment of clothing, down her legs.

"They look marvelous" remarks Brian, already naked and around, kissing her stomach. "Just like your dress, they look better on the ground."

Laughing, Olivia shakes her head. "I don't know why I bother."

All he had thought about throughout the day was getting her alone, getting her to himself. Finally, they are getting married, she's his forever. He has to see it for himself, touch her, and have her.

His eyes roam over her body, drinking her in. She is everything he had ever wanted. "I love you, Mrs. Cassidy."

Grinning, Olivia cradles his face. "I love you, too. We're here. We're finally getting married. "

"Married." His eyes continue down her body and pauses at her long legs. Starting with her ankles, he caresses every inch of her legs.

.

Brian's hands roam up her sides and cup her breasts. Moaning, Olivia arches her back, her eyes briefly closing. Olivia pushes her head back into the pillow as she cradles his head with one hand and the back of his neck with the other. Pausing, he kisses her possessively, desperately. Straightening, she caresses his face "Liv, I want you, "Brian proclaims huskily against her ear.

Wrapped her arms around his shoulders, Olivia trails long, wet kisses along his neck. He slides a hand a under her body and pulls her against him, weaving a hand through her locks. Olivia slides her leg up to his hip and hooks her foot around his thighs, raking her nails down his back. Feeling the low growl rumble in his chest Olivia gasps. Purring her acquiesce, Olivia nips his neck. She disentangles her leg from around his and rolls her hips.

Closing his eyes, Jean-Luc grins, a small sigh escaping his throat. "Mrs. Cassidy." Kissing his chin, Olivia slips her hands around his back, letting them drift low to his back. "We have all night, love," Olivia reminds him with the grin of a Cheshire cat.

As his heart rate decelerates and breathing regulates, Brian lies onto his side and draws Olivia into his arms. He strokes her cheek with his index finger, dropping a tender kiss to her lips. "I feel as if this was…a very long time coming"

Running her thumb along his lips, Olivia smiles warmly." We've been together before "Was this worth the wait?" "Worth every second," declares Brian, resting his forehead against hers. "I will love you…forever." Closing her eyes, Olivia lays her head against his shoulder. The first night of their new life as a family of 4.

TBC…


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Slipping between the sheets, Olivia sighs in utter contentment, thrilled to be back home, and thrilled to be off the plane after a grueling commute. Curling up to a heavily sleeping Brian, Olivia lays her arm across his chest, tucking her face into the crook of his shoulder and neck and pressing her lips to his warm flesh. Sliding her leg over top of his, Olivia closes her eyes, reveling in his familiar feel.

Rousing at the familiar feel of Olivia pressed to his, Brian stirs, his arm immediately encircling her lower back. "Hey…" Smiling against his neck, Olivia lazily rubs circular patterns across his chest. "Hey, stranger."

Tilting up slightly, Brian draws her closer. "Hey. Your Spa day wasn't supposed to end until six. I had an alert. I was going to meet you at the spa. Kissing his shoulder, Olivia trails her hand down his stomach. "I lied. I wanted to surprise you. I missed you."

Grinning, Jean-Luc slips his hands around her waist and pulls her on top of him, capturing her lips in a long kiss. "I missed you. We missed you [referencing the twins she carried]."

Slipping her hands around his neck, Olivia smiles against his mouth. I was half-temped to wake you up they've been kicking me like crazy." Chuckling lightly, Brian shakes his head. "I'm grateful you didn't. It took me a half an hour to get to sleep."

"I missed my husband" Olivia half-whines, half-giggles. "How was it? How'd you make out?" Letting out an exaggerated sigh, Brian aimlessly caresses her back. "Oh, well, you know. You should be proud of me. I put both cribs together in 4 hours.

Giggling, Olivia feathers kisses along his cheek. "Awe, what a perfect papa. Thank you, Bri." Weaving a hand through her hair, Brian trails the hand on her back lower. "Welcome home, cherie."

Pecking his lips, Olivia rubs her hips against his. "Thank you for being such a good father and putting the twins crib while I was at the spa. I brought you back a little gift from my trip."

Smirking, Brian's hand grazes her backside as his hand tangles in her hair. "Hhm? What's that?"

"Oh, sorry," Olivia snickers playfully, glancing over the side of the bed. "I already threw them on the floor. I was too anxious to see you. I couldn't wait." Chuckling, Brian grips her hip, cupping the side of her face with his other hand. "I'm just glad you don't go away often."

Smiling warmly, Olivia kisses him in response, just grateful to be back home, with him. "Can I get you anything?" Olivia inquires, her hand drifting to her belly as she strides toward the sofa where Brian is curled up with a book. Glancing up to see Olivia rubbing her expanding midsection, Brian's lips form a small smile. "No, thank you. Come, sit. You've been on your feet all day."

Collapsing onto the sofa beside him, Olivia shrugs. "No different than any other day at the 1-6. I'd be on my feet all day regardless of the perps we bring in." Leaning over, Brian rubs her shoulders. "The boys have been quite demanding with me, not their usual selves."

"So has their father," teases Olivia as Brian's thumbs work through the knots in her shoulders. "I apologize if I haven't been…the most cooperative," Brian replies honestly, smiling.

Moaning as the pressure begins to release in her neck, Olivia closes her eyes. "That's okay, Bri." "Is that so?" Leaning down, Brian nips her neck playfully. Giggling, Olivia whips around, Brian pulling her tight.

Brian kisses her tenderly, massaging her neck. "I hope you're rethinking that now." Laying her forehead against his, Olivia nods. "I take it back. You may be obstinate sometimes, but I love you." Running a hand through her hair, Brian appraises her face. "You're exhausted. The boys wear you out."

Raising a brow, Olivia leans back. "Brian, I'm the first in command at the 1-6, I'm tired. Inhaling sharply, Brian's other hand falls to cover her belly. "What are we going to do?" "We can't take it back," jests Olivia. "You still want a big family?"

Brian had wanted a family. Desperately desiring his own children to share with Olivia, she had asked if having a baby would affect their future together, anxious to share the experience with the woman he had loved for years he didn't hesitate when she told him of the baby, even if it was quite surprising. It had not taken any convincing on Olivia's part, her delighting in the opportunity to create a family with Brian after so many years apart. They had been shocked to discover they were having twins, but entirely thrilled when Olivia got the confirmation from her doctor. Eight months ago they had conceived their first child [which had turned into twins], and they were elated to learn their family would grow. It would no longer be just the three of them.

"I do," beams Brian, rubbing circles across her belly. "We're on to Number one and two maybe a third a few years from now. I'd say my negotiation skills speak for themselves." Chuckling, Olivia motions as if she is going to swat his head. "Well, maybe, Brian I think I'd like a little boy someday. After Cassidy Number Three is born [whenever that may be], it's snip snip for you."

"Oh, come now, love," chuckles Brian into her ear, caressing her belly. "Let's not close any doors." Sighing, Olivia shakes her head. "Can I please just deliver the twin first before we discuss a number three?"

Turning earnest, Brian gazes into her eyes. "I am in awe of you, you know. You continually amaze me. You are the most fantastic fiancée and mother, and I love you endlessly." Smiling warmly, Olivia kisses him softly. "Thank you. You're going to be an amazing father, and I'm reminded every day how much I love you."

Grinning into her lips, Brian reaches for her hip. "I'm glad. Just bear that in mind during the negotiations." Rolling her eyes, Olivia draws back. Laughing, Brian envelopes Olivia into his arms. "Oh, I don't know, my love. I think a little boy would be the death of me. A miniature Brian, a clone of me?"

Biting back her retort, Olivia simply nods. He is simply clueless, obvious to how she manages all her duties and her impossible wife. Given it all; however, he wouldn't trade it for the universe.

"I feel and look like a watched pot," Olivia grumbled. Her complaint was cut short as Brian found a particularly stiff muscle on her neck and massaged it firmly. "Oh, that's heavenly…" she sighed with contentment. "I do so love your hands on my body…" She leaned back into his chest as she relaxed some more on her favorite chaise lounge in their library.

"You looked like a watched pot?" Brian picked up the conversation. "Teapot or kettle?" She elbowed him for that remark, even as she continued to enjoy his tender touch. "Everyone is staring at me, expecting me to bubble forth and produce these twins, and I'm not even due yet!"

Brian glanced down at the size of her abdomen, and silently wondered about that. On paper, Olivia was due to give birth in a little more than two months. But he had noticed that everyone from Amaro to Amanda to Dr. Warner seemed to think that the arrival of his daughters would be much sooner than that. He worked his fingers down her spine until he was manipulating the muscles at the small of her back. Olivia had been complaining about backaches for a while now. Along with leg cramps and sciatica pain.

"It seems that the only time you're really comfortable now, is when you're in bed," he observed. The bed size triangle that their friends had created for their bed greatly assisted Olivia in getting comfortable with its varying degrees of manipulation. But the bed was the only place where she seemed to find any relief.

"Brian, I've added at least twenty pounds to my weight. My center of gravity has shifted. I can only lie on my left side now when I sleep..." She caught an expression on his face. "And if you say that I 'waddle' when I walk," she warned.

"I would never say that word - aloud." She elbowed him again. "Don't think it either." He chuckled, even as his good humor flowed over her, through her senses. She shared it with her babies. "So, have you completed your list of names?" he quietly asked, since the last time that he had asked that question they had had an argument, to put it mildly.

"Annaliese, Genevieve, Rebecca, Rileigh, Elizabeth, Erin, Makenzie and Michaela Benson. Olivia could have continued on with her suggestions, but she could see that Brian wasn't really listening.

The last name caught his attention. "Benson?" He shuddered. "Olivia, you cannot seriously be considering…not giving the girls my name?"

"No, I'm not. But I did have to do something to capture your attention, didn't I? Besides their last names will be Benson-Cassidy they will have a third name" She turned her head and kissed his cheek. "Amanda seems to think that after the twins are born, they will let us know what names that they have chosen for themselves."

"I hope that they will have the good sense enough to sense what we would wish for their names to be." "And what names do we wish, Brian?" "I kind of like the idea of Annaliese and Genevieve they sound royal and good with Cassidy.

He leaned forward and silenced her with a kiss. "We still have time to consider and then discuss our choices." He paused, momentarily thought that she was the most beautiful sight that he had ever seen, and then smiled before adding, "Though I like the names Makenzie and Makayla as well."

Olivia relaxed and snuggled closer to Brian. They just rested for a while. Both were quite content at being held in each other's arms, at the moment. "They like Mozart," she observed as she settled back even closer, against him. He placed his finger against her IPhone placed on her abdomen beginning the music. "Sonata in A major isn't it?" he idly responded, as he felt more than heard the piano music.

"Yes." But Olivia wasn't paying attention to what Brian was saying. "Listen," she commanded. Beautiful piano music was drifting in through the terrace doors. He lifted his head trying to hear what Olivia was noticing. "Shall we go and see if our offspring prefer Chopin to Mozart?" He instantly knew where it was coming from, and its source. Olivia nodded.

He slid out from behind her and then lifted her to her feet which at this stage of her pregnancy took a bit of doing, though he wisely refrained from commenting about her bulkiness. Olivia was having trouble getting up from most chairs now. He smoothed down her aquamarine oversize tunic sweater, past her hips and until it clung to her navy blue leggings. He took her hand.

They strolled down the hallway and onto the terrace walking along the side of the house until they reached the grand salon, where their first official party had been held. They quietly entered, not wishing to disturb the student who was practicing on their Steinway grand piano. She noticed them immediately, and stopped playing. "Am I disturbing you?" "Of course not" Olivia quickly spoke up, smiling at the young woman dressed in her recital attire. "I just hoped to introduce my babies to the glories of Chopin, being played by such a gifted pianist as you."

The tall, gangly girl blushed over Olivia's words. She was not really used to such compliments like this from her teacher. "Please continue" Brian added.

"Preludes, Nocturnes or Waltzes?" the young girl asked as she sat back down on the piano bench. And before the Christmas party had turned into a riot, she had performed a mini-concert and had been told by parents, that she was welcome to use the lobby Steinway whenever she wished to do so.

"Preludes first, I think," she whispered as her fingers stroked the keyboard. She tapped pulled her IPAD out then projected streaming pages of the piano score which she had chosen to play. She caught Brian's surprise at her sheet music display. "I don't know that much by memory," she explained. Moments later, the soft strains of the B minor prelude was performed.

Olivia pressed her abdomen into the less curve of the solid rosewood grand piano, to allow her babies to both hear the notes as well as feel the reverberations from the soundboard. She grasped her Brian's hand and pressed it against her stomach as the twins reacted to these new sounds and sensations. It was a moment out of time, forever treasured by the two lovers and soon-to-be parents.

After two preludes were played, Olivia sat down on one of the lobby chairs, to listen to a few more of the girl's choices. And after the she performed the Waltz in A flat major, Olivia stood. "Thank you, Sarah. I appreciate your kindness to me. I am sorry that I have to leave, but it is time for me to rest."

Brian nodded at the girl as he escorted Olivia out of the lobby, and into the elevator to go up to the family floor and their penthouse. When he came back down, Brian noticed that the girl was still playing in the grand lobby. He sat by a wall to listen, still very impressed by this girl's skill and talent as she tackled a Brahms waltz.

After a few minutes more of playing, Sarah stopped and stood, pulling the piano key cover shut over the keyboard. "Unfortunately, I have to study. I've got a calculus test in the morning."

Brian nodded at this statement.

TBC…


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Olivia put down her tall glass, and allowed herself to bask in the sun for a few minutes more. She pushed a button and the adjustable bright blue awning above this portion of the terrace extended out some more so that she was now in the shade. "Still is the best way to absorb Vitamin D," she idly commented as she caught Mia's questioning look.

"I didn't say anything," Mia quickly stated as she stood and then poured more iced tea into their glasses. It was a surprisingly warm and sunny day, and the ladies were determined to enjoy it. Mia returned to her lounge chair with its bright azure and white striped upholstery. Once she settled herself back down, and adjusting her tangerine robe about her body, she casually asked, "So how much longer until you think the babies will arrive?" Olivia has since been put in temporary bed rest due to a recent visit to her OB leaving her with slight elevation of her blood pressure. Olivia stopped trying to doze opened her eyelids, and considered just how casually Mia has asked this question. And why? "Hopefully not for another 10 weeks," she announced as if she were testing Mia's waters.

"When can you go back to work?" Mia finally stated only after she had taken several more drinks of her tea. "In spite of what Brian wants if my check up tomorrow goes well I can return then." Olivia added, almost as if she were arguing with herself. "And my babies were quite accepting of me getting back to work."

"Those twins of yours will always know how large of an extended family they are with the precinct" Mia stated. "The only thing better is how many uncles they will have and of course aunt Amanda. You really need to get another female on your squad." I know right. Mia I have been meaning to ask you something would you mind being our nanny for the twins especially for after I go back to work – Brian's work is so unpredictable and mine well you know mine." Olivia raised an eyebrow. "Besides, I thought that you were going to bring in one of your friends as a potential housekeeper."

"Yes, my baby sister Lucy volunteered."

Beverly raised her other eyebrow. "Lucy is she old enough to be a nanny?" Olivia became excited at the thought of meeting this woman. Yes she is 22 just finished colleges with a teaching degree, she could use some work before she gets a full time position "That's wonderful you have always spoken so highly of her. I really am looking forward to finally meeting her, especially after all of the things that you've told me about him."

"Lucy is great with kids. She's still a child himself in some ways." On Olivia's skeptical look she added, "It would be good practice for her to be the nanny getting ready to take care of her own students." "Only problem is that Lucy is not so great with dirty diapers now but I'm sure she will do great after a few tries, I mean that's what I'll be there for her."

"Oh?"

"I still want Lucy to come and meet the twin's first get to know them. Even if she only sticks around for a little while, there is a lot of stuff that she can teach them."

Olivia thought about rolling her eyeballs, but decided, instead, to use her chaise lounges sturdy arm as a brace in order to roll and pull herself onto her left side. She shoved aside the light blue lap throw that Mia had insisted that she use. In spite of the warmth of the day, there was an occasional gust of a chilling, ocean breeze.

She rushed to Olivia's side. "You shouldn't be doing that by yourself," she fussed as she helped Olivia complicate the maneuver of turning a very pregnant lady over onto her side.

After almost seven months of Mia's fussing, Olivia silently hoped that one day soon, she wouldn't need the extra help.

"No matter," Mia softly remarked. "I'll still be able to chase after your children and grandchildren twenty years from now. She arched a eyebrow is Olivia's direction, complementing it with an immutable smile.

Olivia felt a twinge. She decided that the sun was giving her a headache. The only problem was that there wasn't much that she could do to alleviate it.

A very pleasant sounding, soothing voice joined the conversation. "You're wearing out the little mama. Shame on both of you!" Her voice was nice. Her chastisement was not.

Somehow, Mia had found in a nanny, exactly what Olivia needed at the moment Lucy- a sane anchor for the upcoming chaos. Mia sat on the edge of the lounge, massaging Olivia's neck and shoulders at the points where she was hurting. Olivia couldn't help herself. Within moments, she felt better. She sighed with pleasure as this slender woman brought her relief. Her headache was vanishing under the touch of these cool, skilled fingers.

Mia could sense Olivia's unspoken approval and appreciation of the lady. "Mia is a skilled masseuse" she casually announced, as if Olivia had not already just discovered this. "She dragged her high dudgeon about her like a cloak about her and then announced, "Oh, you are not going to let the twins pick their own names, are you?" She huffed. "You're the parent! You're supposed to be choosing names that will inspire them through life! And not letting such inexperienced minds go willy-nilly about picking their own names!"

"Don't worry Bri and I have picked out names for them already now we just have to figure out in what order we will use them. We do agree on one thing for sure. Their last name will be Benson Cassidy. Most likely Benson will be the third name while Cassidy will be their last.

It was a little early for Olivia's nap, but Mia decided not to mention it. She sensed an ally in this woman. And Mia then determined that Olivia would do just fine. For Mia knew that in two more months, she would have to more rooms to clean and with Lucy's help 2 more babies to take care of.

TBC…


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Olivia put down her tall glass, and allowed herself to bask in the sun for a few minutes more. She pushed a button and the adjustable bright blue awning above this portion of the terrace extended out some more so that she was now in the shade. "Still is the best way to absorb Vitamin D," she idly commented as she caught Mia's questioning look.

"I didn't say anything," Mia quickly stated as she stood and then poured more iced tea into their glasses. It was a surprisingly warm and sunny day, and the ladies were determined to enjoy it. Mia returned to her lounge chair with its bright azure and white striped upholstery. Once she settled herself back down, and adjusting her tangerine robe about her body, she casually asked, "So how much longer until you think the babies will arrive?" Olivia has since been put in temporary bed rest due to a recent visit to her OB leaving her with slight elevation of her blood pressure. Olivia stopped trying to doze opened her eyelids, and considered just how casually Mia has asked this question. And why? "Hopefully not for another 10 weeks," she announced as if she were testing Mia's waters.

"When can you go back to work?" Mia finally stated only after she had taken several more drinks of her tea. "In spite of what Brian wants if my check up tomorrow goes well I can return then." Olivia added, almost as if she were arguing with herself. "And my babies were quite accepting of me getting back to work."

"Those twins of yours will always know how large of an extended family they are with the precinct" Mia stated. "The only thing better is how many uncles they will have and of course aunt Amanda. You really need to get another female on your squad." I know right. Mia I have been meaning to ask you something would you mind being our nanny for the twins especially for after I go back to work – Brian's work is so unpredictable and mine well you know mine." Olivia raised an eyebrow. "Besides, I thought that you were going to bring in one of your friends as a potential housekeeper."

"Yes, my baby sister Lucy volunteered."

Beverly raised her other eyebrow. "Lucy is she old enough to be a nanny?" Olivia became excited at the thought of meeting this woman. Yes she is 22 just finished colleges with a teaching degree, she could use some work before she gets a full time position "That's wonderful you have always spoken so highly of her. I really am looking forward to finally meeting her, especially after all of the things that you've told me about him."

"Lucy is great with kids. She's still a child himself in some ways." On Olivia's skeptical look she added, "It would be good practice for her to be the nanny getting ready to take care of her own students." "Only problem is that Lucy is not so great with dirty diapers now but I'm sure she will do great after a few tries, I mean that's what I'll be there for her."

"Oh?"

"I still want Lucy to come and meet the twin's first get to know them. Even if she only sticks around for a little while, there is a lot of stuff that she can teach them."

Olivia thought about rolling her eyeballs, but decided, instead, to use her chaise lounges sturdy arm as a brace in order to roll and pull herself onto her left side. She shoved aside the light blue lap throw that Mia had insisted that she use. In spite of the warmth of the day, there was an occasional gust of a chilling, ocean breeze.

She rushed to Olivia's side. "You shouldn't be doing that by yourself," she fussed as she helped Olivia complicate the maneuver of turning a very pregnant lady over onto her side.

After almost seven months of Mia's fussing, Olivia silently hoped that one day soon, she wouldn't need the extra help.

"No matter," Mia softly remarked. "I'll still be able to chase after your children and grandchildren twenty years from now. She arched a eyebrow is Olivia's direction, complementing it with an immutable smile.

Olivia felt a twinge. She decided that the sun was giving her a headache. The only problem was that there wasn't much that she could do to alleviate it.

A very pleasant sounding, soothing voice joined the conversation. "You're wearing out the little mama. Shame on both of you!" Her voice was nice. Her chastisement was not.

Somehow, Mia had found in a nanny, exactly what Olivia needed at the moment Lucy- a sane anchor for the upcoming chaos. Mia sat on the edge of the lounge, massaging Olivia's neck and shoulders at the points where she was hurting. Olivia couldn't help herself. Within moments, she felt better. She sighed with pleasure as this slender woman brought her relief. Her headache was vanishing under the touch of these cool, skilled fingers.

Mia could sense Olivia's unspoken approval and appreciation of the lady. "Mia is a skilled masseuse" she casually announced, as if Olivia had not already just discovered this. "She dragged her high dudgeon about her like a cloak about her and then announced, "Oh, you are not going to let the twins pick their own names, are you?" She huffed. "You're the parent! You're supposed to be choosing names that will inspire them through life! And not letting such inexperienced minds go willy-nilly about picking their own names!"

"Don't worry Bri and I have picked out names for them already now we just have to figure out in what order we will use them. We do agree on one thing for sure. Their last name will be Benson Cassidy. Most likely Benson will be the third name while Cassidy will be their last.

It was a little early for Olivia's nap, but Mia decided not to mention it. She sensed an ally in this woman. And Mia then determined that Olivia would do just fine. For Mia knew that in two more months, she would have to more rooms to clean and with Lucy's help 2 more babies to take care of.

TBC…


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

"Brian" Olivia announced as her he entered their bedroom. He stood in the doorway, surprised to see Olivia not napping. And seemingly full of energy at the moment. Olivia had been on a roller coaster ride of emotions and energy levels during the 2 weeks of restricted bed rest. He never quite knew what to expect when he entered their bedroom.

"I've been making lists of names. And then I've been saying them out loud to hear how they sound." She smiled up at Brian as he came over to the side of the bed and sat down next to her. "I think I like the name Anneliese and Genevieve for their first names as well as Makenzie and Makayla for their middle names they work well together." She raised her hands above her head and carefully stretched her muscles.

He reached over and grasped her hand, automatically stroking it as he tried to judge just how serious she was over this choice of names for their daughters. He paused, and then chuckled as he felt something. "Our daughter's seems to like the sound of it," he remarked as he bent down and lightly nuzzled her abdomen. He raised his head and then bestowed on Olivia his most loving, happy look. "Anneliese Makenzie BENSON Cassidy and Genevieve Makayla BENSON Cassidy it is" making sure the BENSON was in their names.

"Unless I get a better idea," Olivia just had to add. "I still haven't made up my mind about our daughter's name." She giggled. Ever since the start of her third trimester, Olivia had found herself giggling - which was something that she hadn't really done during any of the years of her adult life. She leaned forward a little bit, speaking directly to her belly. "I don't care how much you like the name - I am not calling you boring old names I like new and refreshing names."

Brian visibly shuddered at this thought. And then was shocked to realize that Olivia - and their daughter's – is not joking about these name suggestions.

Mia breezed into the library, saw that it was empty, and glanced around the room. She was not quite willing to admit out loud that she really liked this new life. To a real bibliophile, this library was classier hew own at home. There was too much French frou-frou furniture for Mia's tastes. Everything about this library bespoke of the couples tastes. There wasn't a sign of a fancy-smancy decorator's influence anywhere. She was still minutely inspecting several archeological artifacts on one of the shelves when Brian's footsteps could be heard echoing down the steps of the wrought iron spiral staircase in the corner by the fireplace.

Plastering her best, friendly smile on her face, she turned to greet the expectant father.

"Olivia was sleeping when I left her," Mia announced.

"Yes. She still is. I just went upstairs and poked my head into the room to see if she needed me." He motioned toward the leather Chesterfield style couch by the fireplace. "I am assuming that all is still well with my Liv?"

"Don't you get daily reports from Dr. Bader?" Mia sat down on the end of the couch, still somewhat looking about and noticing things.

"They are morning reports. When I was with Olivia this afternoon, I thought that she seemed more tired than usual. I am assuming that you kept Olivia occupied…" His voice trailed off, wondering if he was presuming too much.

"Yes, when I saw that she was sleeping, I placed a book with her, and one on the desk, and then left. Then you waylaid me." She waited. He obviously wanted to ask her something. But she wasn't going to make it too easy for him.

"Would you care for some coffee or tea?" He eyed his suite "Or perhaps something stronger?"

"Believe it or not, I've grown to like Earl Grey. Hot."

Mia crossed her legs, picked a piece of imaginary lint off of her slacks, and then decided to show Brian a little mercy. "Olivia is fine, Brian." She raised her palm as if to stop any questions. "And yes, she is more tired. If she doesn't wake by 2000 hours, I'd wake her, bring her dinner in bed, and then coax her back to sleep." Mia took a breath, as if marshaling her thoughts. "I noticed that she has the mattress set at 50%."

"Yes. Olivia started sleeping at that setting three days ago. Dr. Bader did not seem concerned by it."

"Quite frankly, papa-to-be, I think that Olivia will be a mother by the end of the week. Her body is telling her that she needs all the rest that she can get." Brian nodded

Mia's eyes widened as she noted a very nice selection of butter cream pastries, cookies, berries with cream, and cheese with biscuits. "You eat like this every day? It's a wonder that you are still skinny."

"I try to run at least 10 kilometers a day," he casually explained. "When Olivia was underweight during the pregnancy, you were plying her with tens of thousands of calories a day [not really]. Unfortunately, there were days when she just couldn't keep it down. But I was still helping her with the morning sickness - and her appetites." He gave Mia a rueful grin. "I really find it difficult not to indulge - which is why I am running whenever I can." He placed a cookie on a tea plate.

"From her weight gain, I would say that Liv is on a more even keel right now." Mia accepted a floral hand-painted tea cup and saucer from Brian after declining his silent offer of cream or sugar.

"She is still emotionally somewhat erratic. This afternoon she was bouncing around with more energy than anyone I know combined. She sat on the terrace for a few hours with me then, an hour later she crashed. And she has been asleep since."

"Well, medically, all is as it should be." She drank some tea, and then pointed at some chocolate gateau garnished with toasted almonds. "I'm going to the gym, so I'd like a piece of that."

Brian merely smiled to himself as he handed the lady her cake. In the meantime, she closed her eyes at the first taste of the chocolate. It was bliss.

"It is my understanding that as a birthing coach, I am to help Liv through the contractions."

"Yes it is, but don't take it personally if she wants you to go away. It's just the way Liv deals with pain she doesn't mean anything by it."

He considered Mia's words. And mentally ran through several pithy curses at the same time. But his calm exterior denied the existence of his inner turmoil. "Thank you, Mia, for the warning. I'll take care of her." He shuddered at the thought of it. "I can only imagine what Liv would do to me if customs during the birthing of our twins." He thought some more. "We have you as a housekeeper you sister Lucy as a nanny. I couldn't get any better than that.

I think that she [Lucy] is a wise choice. I've encountered her in the past and have been impressed by her unflappability. Which is a rare talent when it comes to babies." She finished off her tea and handed her cup back to Brian for some more. "Thank g…, uh, good." He poured more tea for both of them. "Actually, I wanted to discuss with you ways of dealing with my Liv during labor. I am beginning to believe that she should have a Caesarean section."

"Well, it would be easier for you."

He glared at her. "Another alternative is if I am sedated some how, but not necessarily unconscious."

"Are you talking about getting drunk?"

He grimaced. "That is one possibility."

"It might work." She drank her tea. "Liv would still be awake and undergoing labor pains. Which means, she would truly experience the birth of the twins she just may not remember it." Brian knew she was kidding but it had crossed his mind.

"Trust me, Brian. Pain is most definitely part of the experience of birthing babies."

"I just want to alleviate as much stress as possible for Liv." He sternly glanced at Mia. "I am well aware of all what the doctors are not quite saying to me. Her age is playing a major factor in her concern for her health, isn't it?" "Actually, it's a combination of her age and the fact that she is having twins," Mia quietly answered. "Twins at any age is a very stressful event. But, so far, there is no evidence that anything is actually wrong - or is about to go wrong." Surprising even herself, she reached over and patted his arm as if to reassure him. "In another couple of days, Dr. Bader is going to suggest to Olivia that she should go to Riverside Medical. I also agree that Olivia should go to the maternity rooms there."

"You think that Liv should be hospitalized?"

"Only as a precaution Brian. For if something should go wrong, I would want Olivia to be in the best place possible for both her and the babies. And that is in their hands, and with the expert obstetricians at Riverside."

"I didn't think," he murmured to himself. He would do anything for Olivia's sake. He knew what he had to do. He stood. "Mia, would you prefer to stay here at Cassidy house, during Liv's confinement? You could even have one of the bedrooms upstairs."

Mia almost dropped her box of cakes. Being invited to stay with Brian and Olivia was something that she had never even remotely considered. That Brian should be asking her to temporarily live with him - why, it was unthinkable. And then she weighed the pros and cons of coming here. Of course, she would have to put up with Brian. On the other hand, they'd never quite gotten around to killing each other - though there were moments that seemed to be a real possibility.

And of course, there would be all the tall tales that she could one day tell the twins of what life was like staying in the house with a pregnant Olivia, and the other cast of a hundred characters that seemed to be swarming about Olivia during the latter days of her pregnancy. She made up her mind.

"Thank you for the invitation, Brian. I accept." Mia pretended not to noticed that Brian blanched. "I'll come tomorrow morning."

TBC…


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

"Well, Beverly's labor is approaching. And I don't know what to do." Brian said to Mia

"Did the doctors suggest that you get a Cesarean section?"

"Yes. But I was thinking of drinking…"

"Brandy would indeed of course, be for your benefit."

Brian blinked. Rarely had anyone ever-so-subtly chastised him like this woman just had. He accepted it without comment. By the gleam in the housekeeper's eye, he knew that she understood. "What then should I do? What do expectant fathers do during labor?"

Her grin was at funny looking slant as she answered his question. "Drink." Only by the exasperated look in his eye, did she know how swiftly that she'd gotten to him. She admired his sense of control. "At the first sign of Olivia's labor, you can try it [knowing very well he would never drink while she was in labor]. If it doesn't work, then I'll suggest to the doctors the alternatives. In any case, I'd take the c-section, she will be strong enough to see the babies during and after birth, if the doctors opt for natural childbirth she may be too weak to enjoy the moment."

Brian nodded in acceptance of her words. He then looked about the room noting the two mobiles of starships above the cribs, the glowing galaxies painted on the ceiling, and the mounds of neatly folded clothing in a large cupboard. Everything looked ready. "If there is anything that still needs to be done, or something that you want either for yourself or the twins, please do not hesitate to ask."

"Thank you. I've already seen that storage room. Did someone tell you that you were expecting a set of baby septuplets?"

He laughed at this. "Considering how much is in that storage room, it's possible that such a rumor was spread about."

"Liv's doing, no doubt."

He only nodded at this knowing statement. "What eventually we decide cannot be used, we will donate."

"Good."

She stood. "I am not exactly accustomed to dealing with nursemaids and nannies. I hope that you will help guide me in that regard. In the meantime, naturally, you have the run of the house and the gardens. Though, please be mindful of whatever security might tell you."

"I do understand about security."

He nodded, pleased at this bit of news. "If you wish to use my library, please check to see if I am in it. I am attempting to keep up with my work in spite of being on paternity leave when the babies are born. You are welcome to use the library, but there will be occasions when it will be off limits - I will be in there on NYPD business.

"Of course Brian."

TBC…


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Olivia opened her eyes. It was only a twinge, but she had felt it. She still had 8 weeks to go to come to term today marked week 32. It had disturbed her just enough to bring her out of her restless sleep. Of course, just about everything now, bothered her. Sleeping, turning, thinking, rolling over, lifting her head, breathing, snuggling, moving, etc. - it all distressed her now. She reached for her mattress controls, and lowered the setting to forty-five percent. Sighing, she tried to find a comfortable position on her left side. She was marginally successful.

Brian moved closer to her, spooning against her body. "Go back to sleep," he mumbled as he lightly caressed her abdomen.

Smiling to herself, she leaned into his embrace. Even when he was almost asleep, he had a care for her.

A few minutes later, she felt another twinge. This one was slightly more intense. She stirred again, trying to find a way to ease this pain.

A wary Brian raised his head, trying to focus his eyes in the almost complete darkness of their bedroom. "What is it, Liv?"

"Nothing - I think." She rubbed her side to see if that would help relieve the stitch. She didn't blame him for being on edge. Her nerves were getting frazzled too. All this waiting…

He immediately leaned over her and pulled his watch from the nightstand and turned on the night light. He handed the watch to her. "We should start timing them," he ordered. Olivia nodded trying to breathe through what may be a contraction.

"I do know how to time the contractions, Brian," she sleepily teased, as she took the watch from his grasp. Then she dramatically sighed as she put down the watch nearby. "Fortunately, I'm nowhere near the first stage of labor, Daddy…" She reached over and adjusted the mattress setting to forty percent.

He felt the difference in the setting immediately. "Are you in pain?" he asked as he gently stroked his palms down her spine and across her ribcage. "Would you like me to give you a massage?"

"Actually, maybe we should consider calling Dr. Bader see I she is on call in case this turns into real labor."

This statement, more than anything else, woke him up. "And what can Dr. Bader give to you that I cannot do?"

"She knows how to tell if it is real labor," Olivia sighed as she nestled against her husband's body. "Apparently, she has studied Chinese micro-system reflexology techniques which supposedly can calm labor. I am a bit skeptical about that." She reached over and grasped her husband's hand that had been resting on her hip, and enfolded it in her hands, against her breast. "But give me another twenty-four hours. I'll probably be willing to try anything by then."

Brian again rested against his wife's very rotund body. Much as he loved the fact that she was pregnant with their children and was soon to give birth, part of him regretted the fact that she was in such discomfort. He felt guilty over this even as he hoped he could share her pain with her.

"Do you wish to consult Dr. Bader in the morning?" Jean-Luc softly asked as he rested his head against their pillows near her head.

"Yes, if only to see just how far along you could be."

This gave him pause. "Oh, so you do agree that Dr. Bader isn't an evil influence," he teased, feeling vindicated for his opinion of the woman.

"I've always know that, Brian. Any OB worth their salt has to be evil. Otherwise how else would we strike terror in the hearts of all our underlings? Not to mention dastardly plotting to avoid their yearly evaluation at all costs?"

"I always suspected that you had a campaign of terror against. I knew there was some sort of nefarious plot."

She chuckled. "Right. And with my plotting, it only took me thirteen odd years to convince you to love me."

"That statement is incorrect; I had already fallen in love with you ever so long ago."

"That's true. My real problem was in convincing you into doing something about it, Brian. You were an obstinate man." "Liv…," he warned.

She suddenly stiffened with a hitch to her breath. He felt their twins tumble beneath his palm.

"What is it?"

"Our babies are running out of space to play," she informed him between the babies' movements inside her abdomen. Her breath was unsteady. She was silent for several long moments before she spoke again. "Brian, I think that in the morning, it is time for me to go to Riverside Medical." He started to rise and she stopped him. "And no, I am not in labor - just yet." She had to take another couple of deep breaths before she could continue. "It's just that the twins know when they kick and move about that they are hurting me. And they don't wish to hurt me. But they can't stay in one place either, especially since they are really crowding each other about now in my uterus." She brought his hand to her lips and she kissed his knuckles, than placed his palm back on her tummy. "It's time, Brian."

"I am at your command, Liv." The specter of impending fatherhood loomed before his eyes. He wasn't quite sure that he was ready…

She chuckled again.

"What?"

"Mia placed a couple of bets for me in the betting pools. I might actually win it…"

He could tell that she was looking for some sort of distraction from him. So, it was his turn to chuckle. "There are betting pools at the Precinct? Why, whatever will they think? Shocking. Absolutely shocking."

"It would be shocking if there weren't any betting pools. And my money would be placed as being the one who instigated the baby betting pool in the first place…"

"I always thought that it was Amanda who did that…"

TBC…


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

"The purple one," his wife announced, calling out to him as he stood in the middle of their walk-in closet.

He didn't have to voice his suspicions out loud. He knew that she was teasing him one more time over his most unfortunate choice of words a few months ago. Olivia would never let him forget that he had once thought of her as a purple whale in her pregnant state…

He picked up off of a hanger what could best be described as a purple caftan. He had a sneaking hunch that this caftan had been a baby shower gift for he doubted that Liv would have ever bought anything with such a screamingly 'loud' blue, yellow and red geometric flower pattern against a bright purple ground.

He walked into their bedroom and held it up. "This one?" He didn't have to give voice to what he suspected. She knew his preferences too well too.

"Yes, that one. And don't give me that look. It is one of Amanda's many presents to my wardrobe." She grinned. "And could I help it if it will somehow get left behind when we leave the hospital?"

"Such a tragedy. That would indeed be a tragic turn of events." He walked over to their bed and helped Beverly drop the caftan over her head. She wasn't quite ready to leave the lower gravity of the bed even though she was sitting upright. He pulled the silky fabric about her as best he could. Then he sat down next to his Wife. "Do you wish for me to contact Dr. Bader?"

"Mia stuck her head in the door when you were in the bathroom. She says that everything will be ready and waiting for us at Riverside Medical when we get there." She squeezed his hand to give him some more reassurance. "And we will be heading over soon."

This bit of news worried him.

She knew this too. "The twins know what 'heading' is now. They won't panic when it happens." She stood with his assistance. And this time the noise that she made was one of pain. "Damn. I feel so useless at the moment." She permitted Brian to steady her with his arms. "Help me, darling. I need to take a shower before we leave."

It took a bit of doing, but he finally maneuvered Olivia into the shower stall, and slipped the caftan off of her. Olivia sat propped up on a tall stool as the shower did its work. Brian went in search of loose leggings and slippers. After she finished her shower, he helped her dress. Then he looked about the bathroom as if going through a mental check list. "Can you think of anything else that we need to do before we leave?"

"You could brush my hair and put it in a ponytail," she remarked as she looked about the bathroom as well, and then checked out the dressing room. She lifted a fine gold chain off of her neck. "Maybe you should put my wedding rings into the safe as well." For with the edema that came with the latter stages of pregnancy, Olivia had not been able to wear her engagement or wedding ring during the past few months on her left hand. Instead, she had the rings hanging on a chain around her neck.

Ably doing what she had requested of him, Brian fixed her hair and then put her rings in the wall safe in the dressing room. Then he put ballet type rose colored slippers on her feet, pulled her into a standing position and softly asked, "Are you ready?"

"No. But I guess we have to go anyway." She nodded toward the nursery door. "Let's go." Holding tightly on to her husband's arm, they walked into the nursery and looked about. "The next time we are in this room, it will be with our babies, Brian." Tears began to stream down her face.

Inwardly sighing and fighting back his own surge of tears, Brian reached into his khaki slacks and pulled out a handkerchief. He'd become accustomed to Olivia's odd bouts of crying. "I don't suppose you'd care to rethink our becoming parents…" he teased.

She swatted him. "Too late, now."

"What will be, will be." He pressed his palm against her abdomen, wincing as he felt how active they were at the moment. "They are excited too."

"Yes. Anna [Annaliese Makenzie] and Eve [Genevieve Makayla] want to see the world." she agreed.

"Anna and Eve" Olivia nodded as that is what Brian choose to nickname them, after all she could at least humor him with that since she choose their Christian names.

"Yes. Though your daughter and I are debating whether it is to be a diminutive of another name…" She patted his hand. "Your daughters are stubborn little girls."

As they slowly walked down the hallway toward the elevator, he too-casually asked, "What do you mean by my daughters? I have always been given the impression that adamantine stubbornness is a Benson family trait."

Olivia snorted at this bold faced statement. But she nobly refrained from responding for they had just reached the elevator, and her babies were suddenly becoming even more active.

"Cesarean, I think," Olivia gasped between their kicks to her rib cage.

Brian instinctively shuddered. But instead of pushing a floor button, Brian tightened his control over his inclinations as she felt the elevator move. He focused his fear on the most likely source of danger. Olivia's lives, C-sections are a major surgery after all. Brian tried with great difficultly to calm his fears he had to be strong for Liv.

"I am not in labor - yet," Olivia dryly observed as she sensed Brian's fears. She found herself resting comfortably for now.

Brian whirled about again, torn between being irritated with the Benson sense of humor, and being grateful that Olivia still had enough energy to demonstrate her Benson sense of humor. He leaned into his wife. "You're not in any pain?"

"That's a different question from being in labor."

Brian ignored her comment. He went to the elevator control panel and continued to press the ground floor button. Everyone in the elevator heard what he'd cursed. Baiser…

Olivia tried to recall if she'd even heard Brian use that word as a curse word before. Usually, when he said 'baise moi' to her, they were about to make passionate love…

TBC…


End file.
